reverie

You know what's great? The Chinese delivery man who brought food to our house tonight. He could not have been happier to be delivering food to us. It was awesome. Seriously, he was just infectiously joyous. Wow. :) Talking to Shauna on the phone today. How glad I am that I will get to see you in a couple months. Hazaa! One of my guy friends who told me tonight that I will make a great wife for someone. It was totally random, but he said he had been thinking it for a couple days and wanted to tell me that. Sometimes people think things and don't say them, and he said he didn't want to do that. I told him it means a lot to me. It really does. And Nicole. This is the girl I can spend 5 minutes laughing with at a silly knock knock joke and at the name of a drink at Swork Coffee- Honey Bunny Boo. (You can't tell me you don't think that's funny.) She is a Godsend in an often harsh world. And to top it all off, she surprised me with a wonderful gift this week, just to

fun friends from a very fun day :)

I wanted to be Gideon. I think I got that wish. I don't think I want that anymore. It sucks. I wanted God to use me not because I was qualified but because I was willing to serve him in spite of myself. So he said, hey how about you go to LA. Fun times for everyone. Not sure how the Gideon desire got through stronger than anything else. What I really wanted was a good life, to be a wife and to raise a family. It's why I started learning how to cook at a young age. I wanted to serve my family & my God, to be known as my husband's wife and my children's mom, a woman who genuinely cared and loved God. I want to be a youth group sponsor and sing on the p&w team. That's all I've ever really wanted. And somehow I find myself here so far removed from anything remotely close to those things in a world that hurts a lot. And I feel like God has put me on hold & if I stay on the line long enough he'll come back and ask me what I was holding for, but the hol

Those of you who have been around for awhile might remember the old website I have, or those of you who have browsed my profile have possibly stumbled across it. (Note: If you want to see it, go to my profile, it's still in there.) Anyway, on my old site I used to do this thing called the good things/bad things list. In it I would list the good things going on in my life and the bad things, thus the ultra clever title. The last time I wrote one of those lists was upon being accepted into my LA semester, so a year and a half ago. I feel compelled to write one of those lists again, except tonight I only feel like writing a good things list. Not that there are NO bad things, but there aren't a lot & I'd have to dig deep for them, so I figure I'll let those dormant things be for now. And now the list . . . ~ being a girl (this particular one is simply something that's good for my life & hopefully the rest of the girls who read this, I just want to clarify that,

So I found a way to allocate myself more free dial-up hours before the DSL arrives. It's not just because I am an internet junkie, it's quite difficult to check job postings and send out resumes sans internet & it's better to have internet at my house than to go to Panera to use their free internet. Gasp, I know that's crazy talk, but free dial-up at my house tends to be much more free than free wireless at Panera where all the delicious and non-free food happens to be. I see how they trap people with the promise of "free" internet. You can't fool me. ;) So yes, once again my lapse isn't very lapsical. Lapseful? Lapsey? I don't know, anyway more free internet = no blog lapsification. Bet you didn't think I could come up with another one. Do not doubt my word makeupabilities, they are astoundful. :) Yeah, so I've sat here for over an hour doing other stuff & not writing anything more here, so I think I'm done for now. Here are so

Our refrigerator is broken. It is sad. Shannon tried to fix it for us. He is awesome & worked on it for awhile, but it is still broken. We need a new one. Right now we have one of Jeremy's mini fridges that he didn't need anymore. It is like being in college again. I went to small group this week. I met some new people. It was good. I am excited about church tomorrow. They are doing a series called "Life's Biggest Questions." I like it. I am interested to find out what God has in store for this week. I will now be working at my internship on Mondays and Tuesdays. I am having a hard time being patient with this job. I don't know what God's plan is for me there. I'm also in need of another job to help pay the bills. Please pray that I will find something suitable. I wonder what this week has in store. I have a new friend with whom I would like to spend more time. I hope that can happen this week. I'm not sure when I'll be able to blog next. I

I found this picture online one day. It is awesome. :)

I am just amazed by tonight and this weekend in general. We moved into our new apartment yesterday with the help of three very wonderful boys. Chris dubbed them the moving angels. So true, even if Shannon didn't think it was a masculine enough term, he thought moving stud fit him better. That's true as well. I cannot tell you how thankful I was to have these guys helping out. It made the very long day much better and a lot funnier. :) Church was all kinds of amazing tonight. The p&w was phenomenal. And the sermon, that made me feel real true love for God that I haven't felt in a long time. I didn't realize it wasn't there until I was overwhelmed by a swell of love for God in my heart tonight. And it's not like all that time before I didn't love him, but then it was more like the kind of love you have for an annoying family member whom you have to love because they're family. That kind of love, obligatory love, is cheap and it isn't real and it is

To Ravi with love, for calling and making sure I wouldn't be on the 605 when you saw two police chases there on tv the other day. I have the best baby brother. Thanks for looking out for me, though you can rest assured that I had no idea the 605 even existed before you called me, so no worries. To Galen with love, for being born a rescuer and so embracing that about yourself. I went to bed so happy after talking to you the other night. Thanks for being so wonderful. To Pieter with love, $2.61. You rock. You rock anyway, but thanks for that. I hope we can hang out before you are swept away to the Northwest. To Jon Mark, Shannon, and Jeremy with love, I'm pretty sure only Jon Mark reads this, but uber thanks in advance for helping us move all our furniture. I really appreciate it more than you guys know. To Shauna with love, YOU are excellent. The picture is great, thank you. I will email you more soon, I'm sorry I haven't written or talked to you in so very long . . . so

This has been about the longest I have gone without writing in quite some time. My friend Steve was in town last week, so I was spending time hanging out with him. It was nice to see him again, I hadn't seen him since graduation last year. He also paid for a lot of stuff as I have no money, so that was very nice of him. It was sad taking him to the airport on Sunday. In other news, I started my new "job" today. Glad to see that degree is really paying off and allowing me to go back to being an intern and not get paid. That's something to be thankful for when I send off my loan payment tomorrow. In the long run I know it will be good to be working at this place, but right now it's just killing me. My mom told me tonight again about this lady at church who always asks about me & always tells my mom how proud she is of me that I'm out here trying to follow a dream. Usually that makes me feel better. Today I just wanted to say, right now it's not a dream i