reverie

Every once in awhile when on the phone with my parents, they'll ask me if the fire is anywhere near me. Often my response is, "what fire?" Brush fires (and fairy tales ) are just a part of life in Los Angeles . It's an every day occurrence in the summer. But usually at most you'll see a plume of smoke off in the distance. Yesterday was different. Don't worry, the fire was nowhere near where I live (for those to whom it was, no property or person was damaged), at least not physically but emotionally its proximity was practically at my doorstep. Just on the other side of the hill from where the Hollywood sign is perched is the apartment complex where I stayed when I came to LA to attend the LAFSC during my final semester of college. I lived there for 4 of the most important months of my life, and to see a fire (set by 2 idiot teenagers) encroaching on that place was sad. Cognitively I understand that my memories and experiences would remain untouched ...

I am still waiting for the day when I am surprised by life in an intensely good way. Okay, well that's not completely true, I have had many wonderful blessings that have taken me completely off guard, but there is one that I am still waiting for. And every time I hope that this time might be different . . . well it's just not. Anyway onto a completely different subject that's happy & not annoying, I just found out tonight that there is a canal in Venice, CA! I have been to Venice a hundred times, how did I not know this?!? Go here to see how cute. It's not as beautiful as the real Venice of course, but it's still pretty cool to know that such a thing exists in my city. Sometimes LA is fun because there are still things to discover about it after 2 years.

This was posted on PostSecret tonight. It makes my heart immensely sad. I know all too well the loneliness this city visits upon everyone who dares to venture here. Even two years later I know that were it not for Nicole I would spend far too many nights sitting alone in my apartment. How I wish I could do something to help this person. How I pray God would soon place such a loving person in their path. (If you are not aware, PostSecret is a website where this guy posts secrets that are sent to him anonymously on postcards. It started as an art project and several of the postcards have now been put into a book. It is quite a compelling website, running the gamut from the best to the worst humanity has to offer. As such it is not suitable for all audiences and does typically include content of an R-rated nature, which is the reason I do not post the link here. Should you choose to seek out the website on your own, consider yourself warned.)

It's snowing in Omaha today. And here it will almost reach 90. I'm wearing flip flops right now and I'm not one of these people who wear sandals regardless of the weather. I believe in utilizing proper footwear. It's the middle of November. How terribly sad. I liked it better on Saturday night when it was freezing as we left Mike's house. Where did that weather go? I hope it finds it's way back here quickly. I'm not in the greatest mood today. Tuesdays seem to have the uncanny ability to suck all day long, probably in an effort to balance out the goodness of Taco Night and Gilmore Girls. Stupid balance.

I hate that black soulless void is not an entirely inaccurate way to describe you I hate the remnants of your beauty that only serve to remind of how badly we have raped and pillaged you I hate your stagnant pathways masquerading as transportation venues I hate your love of money I hate your narcissism I hate the way you only take notice of my God is when you see dollar signs in peddling religious content I hate how in your self-importance you're willing to destroy the straining amount of hope that dares venture here I hate the way you try to steal my joy I hate the days when I hate you almost as much as I hate the days when I love you