reverie

Just when I think things might start working out for me I remember those wretched student loans. It's really unfortunate as a person who loathes money that so much of my life is controlled by that crappy green stuff. Heh, sounds like diarrhea. I digress. So, I have a job interview for a non-paying Office PA position on an independent 35 mm. Great except all the work that doesn't help me to pay the rent. I guess we'll see how the interview goes & go from there. I don't know whether to hope for a good interview or a sucky one. Anyway, today's FPA (favorite person award) goes to Phil whom I had not heard from in quite awhile so I was quite pleased when his email graced my inbox this afternoon. He told me about these books by G.K. Chesterton that sound really great. And now I want to go to B&N on a shopping spree. Of course I will abstain as the aforementioned money problem plaguing me makes it quite stupid to go buy a bunch of books, which is quite sad really a...

I wasn't going to post today in order to give everyone a chance to catch up on the 12 posts from the past week. Yeah, 12. I'm unemployed, give me a break. And I was hoping to build up suspense for my next witty repartee. Like that? Repartee, banter for those boycotting all things french. (Stay strong, we will not be overtaken by presidents whose names rhyme!) Back on subject, assuming there was one. The reason for not upholding this decision to withhold posting is twofold. The first and most important reason thing is to give out today's favorite person award. This is a very special award simply because it is the number one reason for breaking today's posting fast. The award goes to Nick. I apologize to all of you who thought you might be the catalyst for the special post. You are all special to me, but talking to Nick today was like catching up with an old friend. Mostly because it was catching up with an old friend. And by old I mean long time. It was o...

So today was a day of realizations, so that was painful & I will only leave you with this: There was this great event at the Getty today that I really wanted to go to. I wrote myself a reminder & stuck it in my LOTR 365 day calendar. Sounds like a good plan, but for whatever reason this week I decided not to utilize said calendar, which means in my room it's still technically Wednesday AND it means that I didn't see the reminder that I so cleverly left for myself and thus I didn't remember the event until about 8 pm this evening at which time I became very upset about all the events leading up to my missing of the event. Which of course were all my fault. Whatever. Anyone want to give me $17 so I can by a Secret Society of Unemployed People tshirt from oddtodd.com? Anyone? Do you find it ironic that I can't justify buying the tshirt when I have no source of income, but when I have a source of income it will mean I am no longer unemployed at which point it would ...

"As lonely as you ever feel, you are not alone." -Zach Braff You can't wonder why he's my hero right now. Hey, guess what this post is about? Garden State! Yay! For any of you who have yet to understand the wonder that is Garden State, proceed here: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/story/225464p-193657c.html Sorry, I'm too lazy to do the html to make it a cool link instead of just the url. You should still read it.

favorite show: right now I must admit that the show I am most enjoying is Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, it never fails to make me smile, which I need these days favorite movie: Garden State, you should have known that was coming, this is not necessarily of all time, but at this point in my life there is no better film favorite song: Let Go by Frou Frou, I seriously burned a CD with only this song on it & listen to it on repeat in my car, it's quite a good driving song, very calming which is important in the death trap otherwise known as LA traffic favorite color: blue favorite scent: freesia with oceans by Pier 1 as a close second favorite thing to cook: anything that involves cooking for other people, most especially that includes Indian food, enchiladas, lasagne, or any other delightful spread that more than likely has chicken as the main dish favorite feeling: usually a hug from a good friend is a good feeling, but right now that feeling after hanging up from a good conver...

Well, I can't take credit for the new photo in my profile, though the masterful cropping is all me. But the original photo was taken by Jared at this great coffeehouse in Burbank. It was a great night, we hung out with Phil & Jon Mark. Those are cool cats.

Today's favorite person award goes to Dan. Other people do merit this award today, but today Dan made me feel like his friend again & that is such a good feeling. Granted all those people who always make me feel like their friend deserve uber favorite people awards, but there's nothing like getting something back that you feel you had lost. This is not to suggest that any of you should take any steps to be less friendly to me and then some time later make some gesture as to get back what had been lost. If I find any of you are intenionally causing me pain I will have to kill you. Ha ha, or maybe not, I wouldn't test me right now. What movie will you be attending this weekend? Well, you have 3 lovely choices: Garden State which you must see, it will be good for your life, The Village just because I love it, and/or Hero which is the best martial arts film you will ever see AND one of the more well photographed movies you will ever see as well. Hero is to king as Crouch...

So I had to buy groceries today seeing as I was out of juice, milk, and cereal. Now being someone who loves to cook I usually love my trips to the grocery store. Of course, grocery shopping is a little more fun when you plan to do actual cooking as opposed to buying microwave foods as they are phenomenally cheaper, but I can't afford to cook real food right now & it's quite less fun to only be cooking for yourself. Anyway, upon returning home I realized that my milk was not in my bags. I checked the receipt to see that it had been rung up. As it was the first thing I put on the conveyor I knew I had picked it up & indeed the 2.29 was marked on my receipt. So I proceeded to my car to see if it had simply fallen out of the bag. No dice, but upon my looking I did find my long lost chapstick that I thought had been lost on the grounds of Culver Studio when I went there for their worthless expo. Anyway, so I returned inside to call the store to see what could be done about t...

That is some amusement from my evening. I am happy to announce that for the first time since I started giving out favorite person awards, which was probably about a month ago, I'm not gonna check to be sure so just go with me on this, Jared has merited one. He sent me a great email tonight, which was a pleasant surprise. Don't worry I will soon be forwarding said email to all the members of the penta as per Jared's request. This makes post #3 for the day, but I've been listening to Kendall Payne this evening and now feel the need to share with you more lyrics. I know, the blog has been lyrics-palooza of late, but if you don't like it you can just go cry to your mommy because these are cool lyrics & they make me feel better, so who are you to be complaining, eh? This is all some of us have to brighten our days right now as we find ourselves failing at life, so deal with it. Another reason I'm not too thrilled to not be in school--I never failed anything in sc...

You will now notice (or perhaps not notice which is the point of me writing this to begin with) that at the end of every magically delicious post I write you now have the ability to share your innermost, personal thoughts that my verbiage has no doubt spurred you on to experience. It is a great day for everyone.

I was at Target today. I saw Dustin Hoffman. For real, Rain Man just shopping in Target. I know he's just a real person, and real people do shop at Target. It was just pretty cool. I usually don't care about seeing celebrities, but it was kind of cool today. This probably sounds silly, but it just kind of felt like a sign. The kind of thing that says "yeah, this is where you're supposed to be." Don't worry I do realize I'm neurotic. I'm okay with that. It's all I have right now. On a completely different note, for those of you who are curious & hopefully to prevent myself from being asked this question again, no I am not glad that I am not starting another schoolyear right now. Didn't think I would ever say that, but to go back to a relatively carefree life full of stability tends to trump what I've found for myself right now. I don't have medical insurance, so my mom says, you can't get sick. I'm gonna go ahead and try that...

So this is quite odd. I'm trying to send out a resume for a job that I admittedly could care less about other than the fact that it would help facilitate that whole paying the bills nonsense, and as I'm trying to open 2 different email accounts neither site will load. So I try to go to the blog site to comment on this oddity & this site loads immediately. I just find that rather bizarre. Of course in the meantime I am still waiting for a phone call on another job that would be so great. Generally I would be inclined to take this as some sort of a sign, but that does sound kind of silly. Unless of course the sign is that poverty builds character. I will have to attempt this resume nonsense later.

I'm happy to hear that more people are enjoying the love that is Garden State. And by more people I mean my brother. And to top it off he got to see it at the Dundee Theater, which is the coolest theater in Omaha. Guys, if you're ever in Omaha & are taking a girl on a date, Dundee would be an excellent choice, trust me on this one. Anyway, I hope more of you get a chance to see the movie again. You won't regret it. In fact you'll probably curse me for it because you will then feel an inexorable desire to see the movie multiple times, which can become expensive, but is more than worth it. I haven't heard of anyone who didn't like it. There was this one review that the lead in was not terribly friendly, but really I think the article was just some sort of virus masquerading as a review as everytime I tried to click on the link it made my computer freeze up & really after three times of that I'm content to believe that no one has disliked this movie. Of...

"Show me the way, to find myself a better day 'Cause I’m barely holding on I need You here to wash away these doubts and fears Hold my hand tight ‘till the dawn" One of the many reasons Foolish Things is such a great band. I love those guys. I am SO nervous about tomorrow. Quite early in the morning I will be heading out to Kinko's to fax my resume off to the best job possibility I've had since I've been here. It's quite scary getting one's hopes up, especially since this would be a really good job. In other news, yesterday I bought a dresser for $10. And it was the perfect size for the amount of things I needed to put in it and to fit inside my closet. So now, my closet is starting to take shape, which is happy. Now I just need about 80 more hangars and some baskets or plastic storage containers and all will be happily organized. Do you think it's weird that I arrange my closet by color? It's probably weird, but I find it aesthetic...

I have been a posting fiend of late, but it's been fun and/or painful depending on who you are. If you're me, which you're obviously not, so why would you even pretend? Anyway, for me it has been a mixture of fun and pain. That is my life right now. So here is what I am now wondering about, am I ready to jump into the freelance world? I don't know. I've been waiting so long to get a job, but what if the job is more stress than not having a job. Though, now that I think about it, any stress created from the job will likely be good stress except for the first day jitters, but that's quite temporary. Film has always been stressful for me, but in that uber good stress kind of way. I have moments of complete insanity and then everything comes together & it's all happy. And on the plus side having a job will get rid of the financial stress or at the very least lighten it a great deal. So I think all in all getting a job can only mean good things. T...

There is nothing so damaging to the psyche as hope. If I were just assume that things would always end up badly and that any job possibility of course I would not land, then I would not find myself disappointed. Rather it is the roller coaster that begins with a dim glimmer of hope and mounts toward excitement right before I realize Frosty the Snowman has a better chance in hell than I do of having my hope fulfilled that is tormenting me right now. The delusion that things could actually work out for me when all logic points to the contrary, that's what is causing me so much pain right now. Nevertheless I will continue to hope. If nothing else I will eventually go crazy and then I will be put up in an institution and I won't have to worry about getting a job to pay rent, not too many people are hiring the crazy.

Drink up baby down Are you in or are you out? Leave your things behind 'Cause it's all going off without you Excuse me too busy you're writing a tragedy These mess-ups You bubble-wrap When you've no idea what you're like So, let go Jump in Oh well, what you waiting for? It's all right 'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown So, let go Just get in Oh, it's so amazing here It's all right 'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown Reason #1 one to buy the Garden State soundtrack. You've heard this song playing in the promos. It's "Let Go" by Frou Frou. Wishing I had money to buy the soundtrack. Also wishing that any store actually had it in stock. Of course this is good for the movie, but bad for people who want to buy it for me. I mean . . . kidding, though if you want to buy it for me I would be a gracious recipient. ;) Perhaps it will have to be my happy new job to myself present whenever I get a job. That seems to be the pre...

There's nothing that can quite ruin your day like someone stealing your ramen noodles and your jelly. It's quite difficult to make lunch when someone has taken 3/4 of your lunch making products. Today's word of the day is arggh, in a frustrated way not in a piratey way. I'm sick of being "in it" right now. I need a break from my life. Seriously, anyone out there want to pay me for being a smartass? I promise to do a really good job.

So right this makes post 182 talking about Garden State and/or Zach Braff, but something he wrote in his blog tonight I just had to share with you. "I felt incredibly alone; I couldn't find many people who were 'in it' ... going through the mental puberty that your twenties can be. - (Or any time of your life that involves feeling long overdue for the next chapter of your life to begin.) When I wrote Garden State, I was completely depressed, waiting tables and lonesome as I've ever been in my life. The script was a way for me to articulate what I was feeling; alone, isolated, 'a dime a dozen' and homesick for a place that didn't even exist." That right there is it. This is why Garden State so resonates with me & really so many other people who are flocking to see it. These are the feelings I have been plagued with since I started college. And the feelings I am experiencing so profoundly right now, especially the "dime a dozen" bit bec...

So one of the reasons I can't wait to get a job, other than to pay that pesky rent of course, is so that I can cook again. Why might you need a job to do that? You might ask. And I might say, that is because I cannot afford to buy worthwhile groceries on no money. Right now I am doing my best to live off ramen & pbj. I realize for some that is cooking, but to someone who started learning at a young age as I knew I would want to be able to cook for my family someday, ramen & pbj definitely doesn't constitute cooking. I think one of the best days I had last semester was Easter. It all turned out to be a great day, but the highlight of it for me was cooking lunch for 7 people. That was the most fun. I love serving people and making them happy. It was also nice first semester when I would cook for Tom & his roommates. We had enchilada night & lasagne night. Those were good times. Cooking tends to bring people together in a way that nothing else I can th...