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it's a good thing

Actually, it's a lot of good things, and one bad thing.

Good things:
1. getting a phone call from Steve tonight, that always makes the world a better place
2. finding out that my dad is coming out here in a week and a half for a conference, so I get to see him and he is bringing me some of my stuff from home
3. pierogies
4. my new purse that was the one I wanted and happened to be on clearance at Target, yay (I needed a new purse, the other one was falling apart)
5. iced chai
6. watered down iced chai when you're really parched and are on your way home from work
7. work, even though I didn't feel like going to day, but it ended up being a good day
8. driving home from work, drinking said melted ice with chai essence and hearing God, not literally, but in this really random thought about people in the Bible who were all like, uh you got the wrong person, God. I'm the one who sits here and watches the sheep, I think you were looking for superhero-esque guy who lives in that field over there, don't worry it's an honest mistake. But that's why God chose them because they were the weak ones, the ones who couldn't do it on their own, and when I was growing up I would always think to myself, I want to be one of those people to whom God says, hey you who are completely not the archetype for what I'm in need of, so I want you doing this work for me. Heh, here's something clever, I got that wish. I am not the person who should be here, not of myself anyway & when I first started talking about going into video/film in high school so many people were like, you're not thinking of going to LA are you? And I wasn't. Apparently the plan was bigger than I knew at the time. And what I'm realizing is that while there is a good deal of pain associated with not following God's plan, there is still a good deal of pain associated with being where you are supposed to be, though at times there is this modicum of peace. My heart is in LA, I know this is where I should be. Of course much of the pain is in the fact that my friends are not in LA. And there is pain in the idea that walking this path doesn't mean fulfilling my dreams right away. I just want to be making films & I know you have to climb the ladder, but where the ladder leads is not necessarily where I want to be in the sense that I'm not in this to waste my life looking for a blockbuster. I'm in this to tell good stories. I don't live in the Hollywood world that supposes money can fix everything. Plenty of wretched films are made that way. Anyway, I know I have more to learn, but I think more than that I will find myself in jobs that aren't necessarily about film so much as the people and I really like that idea. I hope that I can be the kind of person who God can use for his purposes that are always bigger than my own.


So that was longer than I was expecting, but it was just really cool especially since I've been pretty pissed off at God lately. See the hazaa and the unhazaa post from a couple days ago if you don't know why. But it's cool that God is bigger than my anger and is willing to talk to me when I don't feel like talking to him.

Anyway, the one bad thing that I wanted to mention is the loss of the Garret to SPU as the beginning of his school year has finally caused him to disappear from the realms of communication. Either that or he's just a jerk. Come to think of it, it's probably that last one. Yeah well, see if I care, I never liked him anyway.

Have a whimsical rest of the week everyone. For me, whimsy will include getting my CA driver's license which is not so much whimsical as a torturous multiple choice test thus ending a 9 month period in which I have not taken any sort of written test, but we're gonna pretend it's fun. :) Watch for those flying monkeys, they enjoy flinging poo at the whimsical ones.

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