reverie

"I kept finding myself in tears, hoping for a life that was wholly different from the one I was living.  I couldn't figure out if I was just tired and needed a vacation, or if I was scared and needed to quit.  Everyone has dreams that they think about on bad days at work.  But they're dreams, right?  You don't actually do them, right?" -- Shauna Niequist, Cold Tangerines: Celebrating The Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Life I've been at my current job for just under a year and a half.  In that time I have cried at my desk more times than I can count, due to stress, frustration, anger.  It's been a tough job for me, perhaps exacerbated by the fact that it came on the heels of a job I loved. Several times I have considered just throwing in the towel and quitting on the spot.  I'm far too . . . pragmatic?  Deliberate?  Chicken?  Something along those lines, to do something so impetuous.  So when the need arose to quit my job to move to Austin, I w

I often find myself reading before going to bed, whether it's books, blogs, Twitter, or some article that's part of whatever random thread of research I'm following at the moment.  I frequently fall asleep reading.  My Kindle has become a very handy part of this habit as the cover has a pull out light that provides enough light to read in bed and turns itself off when the Kindle has been idle for awhile.  This has pretty much perfected bedtime reading as I am not later awoken in the night by the light. Last night I was reading Revelations of a Single Woman and I got to the chapter titled "So, Why Aren't You Married?"  Since this question is nearly impossible to answer, I mostly expected wit, wisdom, and anecdotes from this chapter.  What I encountered instead was this. "You might understand that the world is fallen and often unfair, but that's still not the kind of answer that warms you on a lonely Saturday night.  And if in your heart of hearts

"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased."   -- C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory" This quote has been bouncing about my head for a couple of weeks as I consider the unfathomable blessings God desires to lavish upon us.  How easy it is to settle for the comfortable pseudo-blessings that we attempt to bring about ourselves by carefully controlling our lives.  But what if?  What if there are real blessings that are not only slightly better, but actually infinitely better than what we have the ability to even dream let alone br