"I just wanted to let everyone know that it is exactly 199 days until my wedding. Today is Tuesday the 9th. Woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just in case any of you are skimming and not paying the kind of serious attention to my humorous writing as you should be, that is an email sent to me. I am NOT the one getting married. Furthermore, were I the one with the impending nuptials/when I am, no one will be receiving this type of email from me. If for some reason I take crazy pills and do end up doing something like that, consider this your free pass to punch me. Only in that event, though, don't be thinking you can just come up and hit me because you read this. I shall be quite upset should you do that and may have to hit you back. Don't worry, I punch like a girl, for real. Anyway, I'm not all anti other people's happiness, but give me a break. Maybe one would have license to do this 10 days before the wedding, but 199, what is that? Okay, I'm done being mean. And if the person who wrote that is reading this, which I don't think you do, but just in case, I really am happy for you. And I will be at the wedding in 199 with the coolest present $10 can buy. Sorry, moving out of the house and school loans kind of kill the generous present fund.
So I now feel the need to redeem this post by writing something equally as sarcastic but somewhat less mean. I don't really have anything else sarcastic to say though right now mean or otherwise. I ran an errand to Santa Monica today. I had to meet this guy at a hotel right on the coast, so pretty. I know, there's a plethora of jokes to be made about meeting a guy at his hotel, but I'm a nice girl and such jokes would not be at all relevant, so don't even let your mind wander there. The point of this story is not the hotel bit, but the coast bit. Had it not been such a chilly night by the beach I would have liked to sit there and just enjoy the ocean for a bit. Of course, sitting outside at night by myself doesn't seem to be the greatest idea, so perhaps it is good that I did not have a jacket or anything to make the idea more tempting.
Oh, one more thing I wanted to comment on. I think I need to take a break from being advice girl. I just need like 3 days without anyone wanting my advice. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond honored that people value my opinion and it only reinforces the notion that psychology would have been a good choice had I not ended up on this film path, but honestly, I'm not the person to ask about relationships. (Friendship questions notwithstanding, just the dating kind.) Let's take a little relationship inventory to help explain this.
Number of bad relationships I've been in: zero
Number of good relationships I've been in: zero
Number of mediocre relationships I've been in: zero
Number of middle school relationships I've been in: zero
Grand total: yep, still zero
I'm great with the theorizing and offering a girl's perspective on things (yes, if a girl asks you how you feel about marriage in general, she's probably interested), but I can offer you nothing from practical experience. So, as of Saturday I'm more than willing to offer advice again but for the remainder of the week, I'm taking a break. It's just gotten to the point that everyone I know is thinking about taking that next step in a relationship and I'm happy to offer insight, but I feel like I need a break. Any questions asked of me between now and Saturday will be left in my inbox and answered after Saturday. And just to clarify, I didn't want to date the stalker, or the creepy guy, or the overly nice guy. Have a happy hump day everyone, and as always, don't take it like that.
Just in case any of you are skimming and not paying the kind of serious attention to my humorous writing as you should be, that is an email sent to me. I am NOT the one getting married. Furthermore, were I the one with the impending nuptials/when I am, no one will be receiving this type of email from me. If for some reason I take crazy pills and do end up doing something like that, consider this your free pass to punch me. Only in that event, though, don't be thinking you can just come up and hit me because you read this. I shall be quite upset should you do that and may have to hit you back. Don't worry, I punch like a girl, for real. Anyway, I'm not all anti other people's happiness, but give me a break. Maybe one would have license to do this 10 days before the wedding, but 199, what is that? Okay, I'm done being mean. And if the person who wrote that is reading this, which I don't think you do, but just in case, I really am happy for you. And I will be at the wedding in 199 with the coolest present $10 can buy. Sorry, moving out of the house and school loans kind of kill the generous present fund.
So I now feel the need to redeem this post by writing something equally as sarcastic but somewhat less mean. I don't really have anything else sarcastic to say though right now mean or otherwise. I ran an errand to Santa Monica today. I had to meet this guy at a hotel right on the coast, so pretty. I know, there's a plethora of jokes to be made about meeting a guy at his hotel, but I'm a nice girl and such jokes would not be at all relevant, so don't even let your mind wander there. The point of this story is not the hotel bit, but the coast bit. Had it not been such a chilly night by the beach I would have liked to sit there and just enjoy the ocean for a bit. Of course, sitting outside at night by myself doesn't seem to be the greatest idea, so perhaps it is good that I did not have a jacket or anything to make the idea more tempting.
Oh, one more thing I wanted to comment on. I think I need to take a break from being advice girl. I just need like 3 days without anyone wanting my advice. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond honored that people value my opinion and it only reinforces the notion that psychology would have been a good choice had I not ended up on this film path, but honestly, I'm not the person to ask about relationships. (Friendship questions notwithstanding, just the dating kind.) Let's take a little relationship inventory to help explain this.
Number of bad relationships I've been in: zero
Number of good relationships I've been in: zero
Number of mediocre relationships I've been in: zero
Number of middle school relationships I've been in: zero
Grand total: yep, still zero
I'm great with the theorizing and offering a girl's perspective on things (yes, if a girl asks you how you feel about marriage in general, she's probably interested), but I can offer you nothing from practical experience. So, as of Saturday I'm more than willing to offer advice again but for the remainder of the week, I'm taking a break. It's just gotten to the point that everyone I know is thinking about taking that next step in a relationship and I'm happy to offer insight, but I feel like I need a break. Any questions asked of me between now and Saturday will be left in my inbox and answered after Saturday. And just to clarify, I didn't want to date the stalker, or the creepy guy, or the overly nice guy. Have a happy hump day everyone, and as always, don't take it like that.
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