Props to whoever can tell me where the title comes from. Hint: for once it's not Garden State.
Why is my blog sometimes retarded? No, I do not mean the writing here is retarded, so you can keep all "because you're the one who writes it" jokes to yourself. :P What I mean is that the time stamp is currently set for 1:46 when it is clearly not. It's 12:55 for those of you who are curious & fear not, I will correct the time before I post. I don't understand because sometimes it says the right time and other times it is strangely off.
Speaking of crap that doesn't work properly, my stupid crappity stove. Silly me, tonight I thought I might cook some dinner for myself & piece of crap would not work. Why? You might be wondering. I don't know save for the fact that it is a gas stove. I HATE gas stoves. And no, it's not just that the pilot light went out, tried that. My mom said I should call someone about it, good thing it was almost 9:30, so not useful. This is why at the distant point in the future when I have a house & hopefully a husband with whom to have a house, the only room I will be anal about is the kitchen. My kitchen will not have a gas stove. Tell them I hate them. (A little Futurama goodness for those of you who know the goodness that is Futurama.) The plan is to have a flattop electric range. Mmm. I know I'm a nerd, but this is my way to release. For some the idea of coming home and cooking after work is an unbearable thought. For me the idea of it is delightful. I even enjoy stopping at the grocery store on the way home to pick up food with which to cook when I get home. And especially when I'm cooking for people, that is a great feeling, preparing for & serving others. It's one of those things that makes me believe I'm well-suited to be a wife & a mom, other than the fact that I've always wanted it. Actually, the thing that made me realize I was well-suited to be a mom was when I was a nanny & the 8 month old little girl I was caring for had dropped several pieces of macaroni & cheese on the floor. Mac & cheese is not something you can so much clean up with a broom as it tends to just squish and slime all over everything. So I did the only logical thing & bent down and picked it up by hand. If you can stand to hold a handful of cold, slimy macaroni & cheese noodles & not be grossed out, I think you are decently suited for parenthood. In college we once had a discussion about what we would do if we found out we couldn't have children. That's a depressing thought. I mean, I'm not at all opposed to adoption, especially of children from a foreign country. But there's just something about the idea of carrying a child & bringing it into the world. Even the idea that because I am short in the latter months of a pregnancy I would be doomed to waddle is appealing.
I digress with all of that girlie stuff. Though, I don't know, is it all girlie? Several guys read this site, any thoughts on that? Do you imagine your future wife carrying your children & relish in the thought? I'd be interested to find out.
So ironically now I want to share with you my friend Jared's website: http://barelyauthentic.com. If you knew Jared you would understand why it's weird that I would segue to him after talking about marriage and children and all that because those are things that Jared is vehemently opposed to, at least usually. He did one time say what he would name his son & what books he would read to his kids, but he generally is opposed to all of that stuff. Anyway, Jared is an artist friend of mine, his website oddly enough contains some of his artwork of all things. Enjoy, hire him to draw stuff for you, or whatever.
Happy end of hump day. Don't take it like that. Flying monkeys, et cetera.
Why is my blog sometimes retarded? No, I do not mean the writing here is retarded, so you can keep all "because you're the one who writes it" jokes to yourself. :P What I mean is that the time stamp is currently set for 1:46 when it is clearly not. It's 12:55 for those of you who are curious & fear not, I will correct the time before I post. I don't understand because sometimes it says the right time and other times it is strangely off.
Speaking of crap that doesn't work properly, my stupid crappity stove. Silly me, tonight I thought I might cook some dinner for myself & piece of crap would not work. Why? You might be wondering. I don't know save for the fact that it is a gas stove. I HATE gas stoves. And no, it's not just that the pilot light went out, tried that. My mom said I should call someone about it, good thing it was almost 9:30, so not useful. This is why at the distant point in the future when I have a house & hopefully a husband with whom to have a house, the only room I will be anal about is the kitchen. My kitchen will not have a gas stove. Tell them I hate them. (A little Futurama goodness for those of you who know the goodness that is Futurama.) The plan is to have a flattop electric range. Mmm. I know I'm a nerd, but this is my way to release. For some the idea of coming home and cooking after work is an unbearable thought. For me the idea of it is delightful. I even enjoy stopping at the grocery store on the way home to pick up food with which to cook when I get home. And especially when I'm cooking for people, that is a great feeling, preparing for & serving others. It's one of those things that makes me believe I'm well-suited to be a wife & a mom, other than the fact that I've always wanted it. Actually, the thing that made me realize I was well-suited to be a mom was when I was a nanny & the 8 month old little girl I was caring for had dropped several pieces of macaroni & cheese on the floor. Mac & cheese is not something you can so much clean up with a broom as it tends to just squish and slime all over everything. So I did the only logical thing & bent down and picked it up by hand. If you can stand to hold a handful of cold, slimy macaroni & cheese noodles & not be grossed out, I think you are decently suited for parenthood. In college we once had a discussion about what we would do if we found out we couldn't have children. That's a depressing thought. I mean, I'm not at all opposed to adoption, especially of children from a foreign country. But there's just something about the idea of carrying a child & bringing it into the world. Even the idea that because I am short in the latter months of a pregnancy I would be doomed to waddle is appealing.
I digress with all of that girlie stuff. Though, I don't know, is it all girlie? Several guys read this site, any thoughts on that? Do you imagine your future wife carrying your children & relish in the thought? I'd be interested to find out.
So ironically now I want to share with you my friend Jared's website: http://barelyauthentic.com. If you knew Jared you would understand why it's weird that I would segue to him after talking about marriage and children and all that because those are things that Jared is vehemently opposed to, at least usually. He did one time say what he would name his son & what books he would read to his kids, but he generally is opposed to all of that stuff. Anyway, Jared is an artist friend of mine, his website oddly enough contains some of his artwork of all things. Enjoy, hire him to draw stuff for you, or whatever.
Happy end of hump day. Don't take it like that. Flying monkeys, et cetera.
Comments
I've posted twice today, the second post of which I feared (on account of blogger's sluggishness) that I was going to lose in the publishing process. Swearing ensued.
Stacie and I watched the White children this week, during which we made gingerbread houses (and allowed the children to ingest copious amounts of refined sugar). I think I can one-up your cold, slimy macaroni litmus test with this. Anna was sucking on a mint (one of those white with the red stripes around the edge like Ravi heists from restaurants), and she indicated that she was done with it by beginning to remove it from her mouth for it to be placed on the Whites' brand new off-white couch. I, even with my rampant germaphobia, instinctively put my hand beneath her mouth so she could spit the slobbered, partially-dissolved mint into my hand. I'm ready.
I don't feel that looking forward to parenting is a girlie thing. I so enjoy the thought of fatherhood that I intend to impregnate not just one but several girls (KIDDING, I promise). Seriously though, I think that a man can behold few more precious sites than his pregnant wife and/or his wife with their newborn baby resting upon her breast. The creation of life is and should be a joy no matter if you are male or female.
Pieter,
Yeah, so I realize that I always refer to you as Pieter, it's just 'cause I think the way your name is spelled is so cool. :) What you said makes sense, every life brought into the world is unique and therefore brings something new into it. And that is beautiful. I look forward to having my husband place his hands on my protruding belly and to watching him with our children. There is nothing more beautiful than a father lovingly interacting with his children.
Garret,
Gas stoves suck. Furthermore, any kind of appliance fueled by gas sucks, such as my dryer and fireplace. Okay, I didn't want to use the fireplace & it's not technically an appliance, but whatever, it's not working along with all the other crap. And you suck for your love of gas stoves, it's people like you who have afflicted me with this stupid appliance. If I didn't hate you, I'd be sorry for the part of your life that is shite right now, but as my feelings of malice toward you are no less strong than when we last spoke some time ago I fear that I have no compassion for your miserable existence. Ha. I kid. Maybe.
Wow, the idea of you being married and procreating, kinda scary. What sort of unholy druidic ritual did you perform to cause some inncocent girl to be in a serious relationship with you?
Jared responding to your emails? You put him under your druidic spell too, didn't you? I'm on to you. That is quite unusual, we may need to look into getting him exorcised or something. Actually, the previous email I sent him he was quite quick in responding to, which is nice.
Yes, this probably should have been an email too, but it wasn't. Plus, this way, everyone can read my response to you & I don't have to make any special effort to personally respond to you. I kid, just to show that I don't hate you as much as it seems, I hope you have a good Christmas.
Raj,
Yes, the quote is from Pirates. You win a prize, don't worry it will likely be cheap and/or free, so don't feel like you need to reciprocate, though no presents will be refused.
I'm jealous that you got to watch the White children this week & make gingerbread houses. I want to make gingerbread houses . . .
I would say your mint story is on par with the macaroni. Being a germaphobe in no way makes your willingness to grab the slobbery mint better than the macaroni.
I was going to respond to your imprenating joke by saying how I planned on getting impregnated by not just one but several guys, but well that's too disturbing. I in no way meant to suggest that wanting to have children was just a girlie thing, but guys seem to not talk about it so much. Maybe it's because girls seem to realize earlier on in life that they want kids. But maybe that perception is again the result of guys not talking about it a lot. Thoughts anyone?
Anyway- about the whole kid thing. As Azina knows, I hate children. They are evil. I never ever want to have a child ever (we've decided I'll have cats, and eventually go insane all alone....with my cats). hmmm - ok so most of that was an exaggeration. I don't HATE children, at all. In fact I've spent most of my life caring for children and I can TOTALLY relate to all the horrible stories of wet noodles and drool covered candy. I've done it all, believe me. I feel my test of motherhood is a combination. If you can stick your hand down the drain in the kitchen sink and with your finger unclog all the goo and nasty particles that are preventing the water from going down, you can be a parent (or a damn good cleaning lady). Anyway, depending on the day, my mood, and the angle the sun is hitting the surface of the ocean, I vary on whether or not I want a family. I must say though that reading all these comments has put me in the mood of "awwww I want a husband and a big huge pregnant belly!!!!" So thanks for that, especially the boys for commenting (men with babies is so hot). So anyway, although I am rather tall and will not have to waddle while pregnant as Azina will....I will admit that it might be nice. But I'll end with this: can anyone explain to me why so many guys want children, however on a regular basis I tend to deny the womanly urge to be a mother??
Nicole