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office supply neuroses

Best Year Ever was so funny & wins the prize for the best year in review show I've seen. Not only did it try to encompass the whole year unlike other less cool year in review shows, but it also reminded me of one of the greatest joys of this year . . .
Sponge Monkeys! You know, those creepy yet amusing creatures in the Quizno's commercials last spring. Good times. Sponge Monkeys came from here: http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song. The moon is very useful everyone.
Quizno's I beseech you, bring back the Sponge Monkeys, please. (I feel it useful to make this plea because in the remotest chance that anyone in power at the Quizno's dynasty, which is way cooler than Subway or any other sandwich vending chain, happens across this blog perhaps they will say to themselves, yes we should bring back those disturbingly lovable characters. My blog would then serve a higher purpose, that would be so great.)

So I have been working on this side project/job thing which is mainly organizing a crapload of unorganized documents. I am quite well suited for a job such as this except for the fact that I hate when pages are hole punched and the holes do not match up. When I hole punch something I make sure all the pages are perfectly aligned before any perforation takes place. I am also crazy when it comes to staples. I'm not one of those willy nilly staple at an angle type of people. the staple needs to be close to the left side of the paper, close to the top of the paper, but not too close, and parallel with the top. And then there are paper clips. I hate colored paper clips. I mistakenly bought a box of colored paper clips one time and have been plagued by them ever since. It would probably help if anywhere on the black and white box that contains the offensive paper binding devices there was any indication that normal clips did not await me on the inside. I'm sure somewhere in there you could say this dislike of colorful paper clips is a manifestation of some deeper racist issues. I assure you this is not the case. I just like things to look clean & nice and what's better than a plain silver paper clip to do that for you?

I figured the week wasn't complete without a post that makes me sound at least a little crazy. And now I must get to sleep as that project I told you about must be finished tomorrow and I've procrastinated just about as much as humanly possible. Goodnight all. And Quizno's people, I'm serious, the Sponge Monkeys rocked, you should totally bring them back.

Comments

Pete said…
Sponge Monkeys? No No No No NO!!! Their upside down, broke-toothed mouths gave me NIGHTMARES!!! and what the hell are they doing playing guitars if you can't even tell what SHAPE they are!!?? I just pray that i don't think about them before i go to sleep tonight.

As for the paper clips....I think i understand what you are saying Azina and the only thing i can reply with is....sometimes I believe God gives us those unmarked boxes of colored paper clips as learning experiences and amidst the chaos that they bring, we are able to learn and grow both spiritually and mentally. Look at it as a blessing next time because God is not going to give us more than we can handle ya know? Really try to grasp that truth when you must buy and use office supplies. Good night.
aziner said…
Pieter, you comment is highly amusing. I am quite sad, though, that you do not share in the love for the Sponge Monkeys. Creepy though they may be, their tunes are hilarious. Come on, an oddly shaped creature dressed as a pirate and playing guitar? That's good advertising. Plus, the Moon Song is a delightful little ditty. "We like cheese we like zeppelins." Bob Dylan couldn't have come up with that. ;)

I am intrigued by your office supply theology and am in fact speechless on the topic, but I thank you for the encouragement and will surely think of it when I am again duped into buying colored paper clips when all I sought was normal ones.