it's been a slam your thumb in the car door kind of a week

Unfortunately I'm saying that metaphorically as well as literally. Oh how part of me wishes it was just literally. A week ago I thought that I would soon be starting a second job and that I may finally be financially independent of my parents. I hate having to ask for money, and not out of some stupid sense of pride but because moving out here was my choice and I hate that my being here is a financial burden for them. Anyway, I was "let go" yesterday. Randomly out of the blue my boss tells me that he doesn't really need my help any more, and not to take it as a reflection of my performance, they loved having me work there, they just don't need me. Compliments aren't particularly worth much when you've just been told your source of income is gone. Nice how I had worked my arse off this week on that wretched page long thank you letter that he was being anal retentive about. Could have fired me before putting me through that crap. And no word on that second job as of yet, by the way. Anyway, I'm trying to see this positively, but it's a little hard when I just had to pay rent this week which will dry up 97% of the bank account. It's nice how I hate money and living is pretty dependent on it. So long as God is staying true to keeping me from getting comfortable. I can't help but wonder if I'm cut out for this, if it's worth all the struggle. (The film industry, not life, I'm not suicidal or anything.) Somedays I'm not sure, but I'm out here for a reason, right? He didn't just send me out here for a good laugh? I hope not. It's hard to have faith. I felt like I was finally making progress toward something and now I am back to square one. I have a good life, I like my life, but somedays I feel like I have nothing. The plan was never to do this alone. Sometimes I need someone else there to be strong for me.

I digress. My thumb is now only slightly bruised. You don't realize how useful thumbs are until it hurts to even touch it. Looking forward to the rest of my life being only slightly bruised. Maybe in the meantime I'll get my screenplay written.