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how do I love thee?

I am just amazed by tonight and this weekend in general. We moved into our new apartment yesterday with the help of three very wonderful boys. Chris dubbed them the moving angels. So true, even if Shannon didn't think it was a masculine enough term, he thought moving stud fit him better. That's true as well. I cannot tell you how thankful I was to have these guys helping out. It made the very long day much better and a lot funnier. :)

Church was all kinds of amazing tonight. The p&w was phenomenal. And the sermon, that made me feel real true love for God that I haven't felt in a long time. I didn't realize it wasn't there until I was overwhelmed by a swell of love for God in my heart tonight. And it's not like all that time before I didn't love him, but then it was more like the kind of love you have for an annoying family member whom you have to love because they're family. That kind of love, obligatory love, is cheap and it isn't real and it is in fact patronizing. I don't want to have that kind of love for God, I want to have the kind that you have for a friend who loves you so much that they hurt when you hurt, the kind of friend who would do anything to put a smile on your face when all you can do is cry. That's the kind of love I feel for him right now, and it's a little scary, but I'm pleased as punch about it. The message tonight was about pain. How can there be a loving God who is omnipotent if there is so much pain in the world? I've heard many talks and answers to this question, philosophy lectures, theological discussions, and honestly this is the first time I've ever heard anything so true and beautiful on the topic. I took a good deal of notes, so if you want some specifics about what was said, let me know. Toward the end of the service they played a video. I won't recount the whole thing for you, but in it this baby boy was crying and screaming, and all you wanted his dad to do was hold him close and comfort him, and right at the moment where you don't think you can take it anymore and you just want to scream at the guy, "why won't you do something?!?! can't you hear him?!" Right at that moment the dad cradles his son to his chest and the whole way home whispers to him, "I love you, buddy. I love you, buddy. We're almost home, I know the way. I love you, buddy. I love you, buddy." Maybe it sounds cheesy here, I assure you it was not. It was amazing. It made me cry. If I felt comfortable crying in a room full of people I don't know, I probably would have been bawling by the end of the night. It was truly amazing. As this weekend ends, I am starting life in a new place in more ways than one . . .

Comments

Unknown said…
:)
that makes me happy my dear friend!

btw i would like to have your new address.
Jessica said…
they showed that video at a chapel service a couple of weeks ago, and I think it really spoke to people. it's one of those things that people need to be reminded of again and again: that God's not always going to make the storm go away, but that he'll carry us through it.
Pete said…
I posted finally!!! more to come...