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aww she's your lobster

Mmm it was a good weekend. I sit here watching Gilmore Girls from last Tuesday (again) hoping to purge from my mind the episode of Crossing Jordan we just watched. It was a fantastic season premiere, but creepy as all get out. Wow. Smart in the way that Se7en is a brilliant film and similarly creepy. But Nicole and I were smart enough to figure it out, so that's good.

Anyway, it has been a little while since I've graced you all with my presence here. :P I feel this is a good time to point out to any of you who haven't been around long or who don't know me or whatever that I'm actually not that full of myself, I'm just a bit cheeky. ;)

So yesterday I followed this trail of articles:
The Cost of Delaying Marriage
Defending the Cost of Delaying Marriage
Pray Boldly
Finding a Husband
Pulling a Ruth, Part 1
Pulling Ruth, Part 2

Now, I realize that is a good deal of reading and I only put that list there in case you're interested in following it. But reading those things brings up a few questions.

1. They suggest that you are either called to marriage or called to celibacy, there is no gray area. I understand this argument, but the problem I have is that it makes our obedience dependent on other people. Yes, I want to get married and I believe God has that in store for me, but the idea of labeling it a calling is troublesome to me as I cannot fulfill what God is asking me to even though I desire to fulfill it. I hope that makes sense.

2. This is more particularly for the guys, a few of the articles refer to this wise older woman Mary who says that it is important for people to discuss marriage in general with their group of friends, much in the same way that you would discuss politics or philosophy. I think that for the most part girls avoid bringing up the topic even casually with their friends as we fear scaring them. I think we believe that guys read into things as much as we do. Thoughts?

3. I think I'd have to reread the articles to think of a 3, which as mentioned would take a bit of time and I am not going to do that right now, so this is your invitation to say anything based on the articles or on the subject in general.

Originally right here it was to say, New songs are up. But the brilliance that is tekcities, I can't log on right now, so no dice. I make no promises for tomorrow, I won't be home til late, so we'll see how things go.

"Lobsters mate for life."

Comments

raj said…
I've had discussions about marriage with mixed gender groups before (that is groups consisting of men and women not mixed as in hermaphrodites). I've found it a relief to get both other guys' and girls' opinions on it. I agree with that aspect of the article. If we can talk about politics, philosophy, and religion how can we avoid talking about marriage? Heck, half of those things could end up in discussion about gay marriage. The point is, it's something that everybody our age is thinking about (even if we're thinking, "NO WAY - not yet!" - we're thinking at least). We might as well talk about it.
Galen said…
Yes. We can talk about it. But not right now. How about in, say, ten years. Ok, so how about those Seahawks?
aziner said…
See in his joking little way Galen brings up a very good point, especially relating to the delaying marriage article. How is one to not delay marriage when guys are over there saying, wait a few or several years. It doesn't work out so well. Anyway, it just seems to me that bringing up marriage amongst a mixed gender group doesn't seem as natural as starting discussions on other topics. And Raj we all now you have hermaphroditic friends, you don't have to hide it.

What's with the trying to start football talk here? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know anything about the Seahawks, but if you want to talk about the Patriots . . . (Sorry Nicole.)
Amber said…
Please refresh my memory where that quote came from! I know I know, I just can't figure it out. (And I do have something of relevance to post.) I personally don't understand at all why we don't talk about everything. Sure, there are topics that are a little sensitive or embarrassing, but if we're not talking about them, we're depending on ourselves or our close confidantes for the answers. Even if we consult the Bible, if we're sticking to our personal opinions or interpretations, we're not getting the whole story.

So what is the deal with marriage? What are the issues? I'm not trying to say I have all the answers. But I think a good place to start is with the questions.
aziner said…
It's from Friends. I think part of the trouble is that there are so many myths out there, about both marriage and singleness. There is the idea that marriage will end all of the problems of being single, obviously not true. And there is the myth that singleness is this hallowed time created by God so we can draw close to him, but think about this- it was probably in one of the articles but it has been on my mind for awhile too before I read these things- Adam lived in a garden with God, he was as close to God as any human who has ever lived (save Jesus) and what did God do? He gave him a mate. That's gotta say something to us, right? What it says exactly, I can't say for sure, but I know it means something. But think about this, "The LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" (Genesis 2:18) Adam was with God, and still God said he was "alone." So what does that say to all the theory that says you're never alone as long as you have God? Technically you're right, but God himself saw the importance of human community. This can be applied directly to marriage or just to community in general. Either way as I've long said, people were not meant to live alone. And now I've gone way off, so someone else talk now. :)