our great disservice

Last weekend one of my friends said something that I find quite troubling. First let me preface this by saying I appreciate his confidence in women, but I think his attitude points to a larger issue. He said he believed that men and women were equal and that sometimes girls think he's insensitive because he assumes they can do things for themselves and doesn't offer to help. And he said that most of the time he feels girls do things better than guys do anyway. I am not going to argue that point, I think there are some things that girls do better than guys and some things that guys do better than girls, which I guess in some way points to what I do want to argue, this equality nonsense. Now, I'm not sitting here saying that women are only good for having children and housekeeping. I'm not saying that at all. Goodness knows I know plenty of girls who are worthless when it comes to housekeeping and I know guys who keep their places immaculate. But what I am saying is that the two genders are not equal. It's literally like comparing apples and oranges. Both are fruit and should be appreciated as fruit, but one is good for pies and the other good for vitamin c. Sure they have functions that can overlap, both are good for juice and spreads, but they each have their individual characteristics for which they should be appreciated. Just because they are both fruits doesn't mean you should try to bake a pie with an orange. (I am of course presupposing that everyone finds the idea of baking an orange pie as revolting as I do. I can almost smell the pungent aroma of cinnamon and dried out citrus. Blech.) In case you're not tracking with me, the same applies for men and women, though you should not try to bake a pie with either because then you're creepy and disturbed and will go to jail. Anyhow, yes women are very strong and can do most things for themselves and have the amazing ability to survive in horrible circumstances, but men are strong (and usually physically stronger) and are protectors and providers. Just because we can take on the roles of the other doesn't mean that we should, again baking a pie with oranges. I realize there are at times extenuating circumstances, this is not what I am addressing here. I am speaking generally about society. By blurring the gender roles and saying that not only can we take on the roles of the opposite sex, but that we should, we are left adrift in society unsure of what we should be doing. Should a guy hold the door open? He doesn't know, he has as much chance of being appreciated for it as he does getting torn a new one. And why? Of course a guy realizes you can open your own door, but he is making a small gesture that says I appreciate you and want to do something simple for you. This is something to get upset over? And actually if you think about it, the whole door holding thing actually leads back to the protective thing. If he opens a door for you, he is entering behind you. Protective. If he opens the car door for you, he is making sure that the only thing outside to greet you is him. Protective. If he walks you to your door he is making sure you arrive home safely. Protective. Instead with this whole equality crap we have women saying we don't need your protection and even worse, we don't want it. So what's a guy to do? And what's a woman to do who doesn't agree with this nonsense? Of course this all has oodles of potential to lead back to a dating/courtship/marriage discussion, but that topic seems to be everywhere lately, so I will leave it alone for now unless you start clamoring for me to continue along those lines. ;) I think the worst thing we've done is ignored the differences, pretend they don't exist. That serves no one. Instead we should celebrate and engage those differences. It seems a lot has been going back to Adam and Eve lately, but when all else fails, go back to the beginning. Adam and Eve they were the first man and woman and they were partners. There's no sense in partnering with someone who is exactly the same as you. It is the differences that make the partnership strong. When one's ideas fail, the other is there to step up. This is how it works with the genders, men are often leaders and women are more detail oriented (again sweeping generalization). Nothing a leader wants to accomplish could ever happen if someone wasn't there to attend to the details. It takes two. So, after all this I'm not sure I got any sort of point across but hopefully I did. I guess at the end of the day, don't think you're helping anything by assuming a girl can accomplish something on her own. She probably can. And she may not want your help, but it doesn't hurt to offer. Unless she yells at you, in which case you can refer her to me and I will school her. ;) And girls, when a guy offers to help you with something, don't lambast him. If you want his help, accept it graciously. If you don't, let him know you appreciate the thought and the offer. Between the two of us Nicole and I assembled all the furniture in our house. When we moved the guys who helped us move took everything apart. They reassembled it for us at the new apartment, not because we couldn't but because they were being nice. I am truly appreciative of that.

And now a very long time later I will go. I must put my soapbox away.