Assuming that you want to spend $145 on a tie, here is the clever advertisement from the Hermes Tie catalogue that came with Variety today.
All the things a man can do with an Hermes tie
Lie on the ground and gaze at the sky.
Have (or think you have) a great idea every two minutes.
Forget to shave.
Look down through the airplane window at the miniature cars creeping along in single file below.
Chew on a pencil and muse. (Azina asks that you muse without chewing on pencils.)
Be serious.
Pretend to be serious.
Pretend to be pretending to be serious.
Listen to the same CD over and over.
Nail your colors to the mast. (Azina feels this is some sort of nautical thing she does not understand, must go sailing more . . . or at all . . . ever . . . even just once.)
Go out to get the bread.
Scratch your head. Start again from scratch.
Cross the road thinking of your father. (Azina: But don't cross the road and get hit by a car like your father who was crossing the road thinking of his father who got hit by a car crossing the road thinking of his father.)
Decide you want the tortoise pattern instead.
End up buying both patterns.
Sneak home quiet as a mouse at three in the morning.
Take time to do more sports.
Take time to fall in love. (Azina: No girl will fall in love with you if you aren't sporting a $145 tie with a tortoise pattern.)
Forget to do shopping.
Decide not to wear it.
Decide to wear it.
Be amazed at all the things a man can do with an Hermes tie.
(end of advertisement)
Now you may be thinking to yourself, I can do all those things with my regular old $5 tie from Walmart. Maybe. Maybe not. I guess you'll never know until you spring for the tortoise or hippo or sheep or pelican pattern. They have plain boring patterns too, but those ones were my favorite. They really are nice looking ties, but come on they're crazy expensive and from some company in Paris, I had to make fun. :)
This picture makes me laugh.
All the things a man can do with an Hermes tie
Lie on the ground and gaze at the sky.
Have (or think you have) a great idea every two minutes.
Forget to shave.
Look down through the airplane window at the miniature cars creeping along in single file below.
Chew on a pencil and muse. (Azina asks that you muse without chewing on pencils.)
Be serious.
Pretend to be serious.
Pretend to be pretending to be serious.
Listen to the same CD over and over.
Nail your colors to the mast. (Azina feels this is some sort of nautical thing she does not understand, must go sailing more . . . or at all . . . ever . . . even just once.)
Go out to get the bread.
Scratch your head. Start again from scratch.
Cross the road thinking of your father. (Azina: But don't cross the road and get hit by a car like your father who was crossing the road thinking of his father who got hit by a car crossing the road thinking of his father.)
Decide you want the tortoise pattern instead.
End up buying both patterns.
Sneak home quiet as a mouse at three in the morning.
Take time to do more sports.
Take time to fall in love. (Azina: No girl will fall in love with you if you aren't sporting a $145 tie with a tortoise pattern.)
Forget to do shopping.
Decide not to wear it.
Decide to wear it.
Be amazed at all the things a man can do with an Hermes tie.
(end of advertisement)
Now you may be thinking to yourself, I can do all those things with my regular old $5 tie from Walmart. Maybe. Maybe not. I guess you'll never know until you spring for the tortoise or hippo or sheep or pelican pattern. They have plain boring patterns too, but those ones were my favorite. They really are nice looking ties, but come on they're crazy expensive and from some company in Paris, I had to make fun. :)
This picture makes me laugh.
Comments
(disclaimer: I do not have herpes.)
I'm choosing to ignore all the herpes talk :P