all I want for Christmas

One of my favorite traditions of the season has finally befallen us. That is the advent of my brother Raj's Christmas list. Previous lists have included the following requests,

- A chimpanzee highly skilled in the art of writing theologically sound paper
- 1,000 bananas to feed said chimpanzee
- Dictatorship of a small Spanish-speaking country with large drug cartel
- The deed to the state of Texas and Presidential permission to sell Texas back to Mexico providing that all the immigrants move to Texas before the transaction takes place.
- An electrified wall spanning the length of the border that Texas shares with any other U.S. state
- Glasses that do my homework as I stare in the homework's general direction, as is often the case

I'm quite uncertain where all the Texas animosity came from, that is to say I'm sure I knew at one point and was probably highly amused, but by now I have completely forgotten, keep in mind it is an old list, so it's possible that he has forgotten all the hate. Raj, care to weigh in on that one?

This year's list while far more practical, including far more books than chimpanzees, still had it's charms in the form of a letter to Santa:

Dear Santa,

Here are the things that I would like for Christmas. I haven't really been all that good this year, but I did get my sisters and brother presents, well, either have or will get them one. The point is . . . I'm not really sure what the point was, but I just found out from my Happy Christmas CD that Jesus doesn't hate you, so you should probably be in a pretty generous mood.

[actual Christmas list deleted, though if you desire to buy Raj a present I'm sure he would gladly post it for you]

I loved you in Elf even if you looked a lot like Ed Asner,

Raj

I feel I should point out that while this letter was sent to me, I in fact am not Santa, nor does Raj believe that I am. (At least I think he realizes by now that I'm not . . .) Please take this into serious consideration as I do not wish for my inbox to be flooded with tons of Dear Santa letters. I'd be happy to fulfill your Christmas wishes, however I simply do not know enough elves to help me out in time.

Last year being in the midst of that craphole time in my life, my list was rather serious & certainly could not be bought in a store. But I am happy in looking back to see that I no longer even want one of the things on the list. And 2 of the more important things came true- to be content and to have friends in LA.

So now without further adieu and for the purposes of fun only, here is what I want for Christmas:

- the ability to fly of my own volition (don't worry I would only use my powers for good and to pick up Chinese takeout from China)
- someone to explain to me how I have a 5 minute long mp3 of Silent Night on my computer that is literally 5 minutes of silence!
- snow in LA
- a car that never requires maintenance, wait I actually do want that, will have to remember to move that to the serious list and hand it out to all my millionaire friends
- some millionaire friends ;)
- to make you laugh

Happy 20 days before Christmas! Feel free to share your nonsensical Christmas wishes. :)