The following in italics is from a comment Amber posted on the Valentine's date post. With the flurry of blogging that must take place in these remaining days of December to reach 300 by the end of the year I didn't want her comment and my response to get buried. So here you have it.
Let me start by saying that what I like best is to be made to feel special, be it Valentine's Day or my birthday or Tuesday. I would argue that that's what most women really want - from significant others, from friends, from other women.
I would definitely agree with that. In fact for me, random acts of love make me feel at least as special as the ones that occur on special days because those are ones that are sort of expected. The ones that occur just because you love me mean a lot. And really that can be something as simple as a handwritten note to say, "Have a great day! I'm thinking of you" or a flower you buy when you run out to pick up some groceries. Little things go a long way. And let me just clarify that the things people do for me on days like my birthday mean so much, don't get me wrong, I feel loved by those things too.
Women would know they are special if they had a relationship with Jesus (although a little attention from the other people as mentioned before never hurts!) and men would treat women as though they are special...loving their wives as Christ loves the Church. (That doesn't apply just to husbands, but I think you get my point.)
This to me is so hugely important. I think too often, mostly in young adult groups, there is a great lack of respect between the genders. This is not always the case, but I don't think guys honor and respect women as they should and I don't think girls respect and encourage guys to be Godly men and leaders. There's so much potential for this generation, but I think to some extent we find ourselves floundering. If we showed each other the kind of loving respect that we should I think we would be amazed at the kind of community and friendships and marriages that would come out of it.
All that to say, I think women who expect expensive jewelry or the like are actually insecure and are searching for their self-worth in things. And the people who give them those things validate them...whether or not the gift-giver actually believes in the worth of said woman.
I think what must be realized for those who do believe in the worth of a woman who is insecure and searching for self-worth in things is that you will never help her find it by indulging her in such items. What I mean by that is if out of the best of loving intentions you cater to these misguided desires, you will never help her. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with the occasional extravagant gift should you have the means to purchase one without going into debt. After all, should anyone want to give me a car with a "giant garish red bow on top" I assure you that I would be quite grateful and I already like myself so I don't need it to fuel my self-worth at all. :)
Let me start by saying that what I like best is to be made to feel special, be it Valentine's Day or my birthday or Tuesday. I would argue that that's what most women really want - from significant others, from friends, from other women.
I would definitely agree with that. In fact for me, random acts of love make me feel at least as special as the ones that occur on special days because those are ones that are sort of expected. The ones that occur just because you love me mean a lot. And really that can be something as simple as a handwritten note to say, "Have a great day! I'm thinking of you" or a flower you buy when you run out to pick up some groceries. Little things go a long way. And let me just clarify that the things people do for me on days like my birthday mean so much, don't get me wrong, I feel loved by those things too.
Women would know they are special if they had a relationship with Jesus (although a little attention from the other people as mentioned before never hurts!) and men would treat women as though they are special...loving their wives as Christ loves the Church. (That doesn't apply just to husbands, but I think you get my point.)
This to me is so hugely important. I think too often, mostly in young adult groups, there is a great lack of respect between the genders. This is not always the case, but I don't think guys honor and respect women as they should and I don't think girls respect and encourage guys to be Godly men and leaders. There's so much potential for this generation, but I think to some extent we find ourselves floundering. If we showed each other the kind of loving respect that we should I think we would be amazed at the kind of community and friendships and marriages that would come out of it.
All that to say, I think women who expect expensive jewelry or the like are actually insecure and are searching for their self-worth in things. And the people who give them those things validate them...whether or not the gift-giver actually believes in the worth of said woman.
I think what must be realized for those who do believe in the worth of a woman who is insecure and searching for self-worth in things is that you will never help her find it by indulging her in such items. What I mean by that is if out of the best of loving intentions you cater to these misguided desires, you will never help her. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with the occasional extravagant gift should you have the means to purchase one without going into debt. After all, should anyone want to give me a car with a "giant garish red bow on top" I assure you that I would be quite grateful and I already like myself so I don't need it to fuel my self-worth at all. :)
Comments
To probe a question...what is the best way for singles to encourage and edify the opposite sex? (not looking to get into a red light green light discussion, but seriously how do we do this more effectively?