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new year's resolution number 1

I want to trip inside your head
Spend the day there . . .
To hear the things you haven't said
And see what you might see

I want to hear you when you call
Do you feel anything at all?
I want to see your thoughts take shape
And walk right out

I'm feeling life would be so much easier right now if I could just spend some time in people's heads and find out all the things they should say and maybe even want to say but for whatever reason just don't. Now I'm pretty much a champion passive aggressor, but I'm starting to realize lately how important open communication is, mostly because I'm finding with one of my friendships that the lines of communication aren't open in a way that they should be, and that is causing me quite a lot of frustration. So it is my goal to be proactive and do something about this for the sake of my sanity and the sake of the friendship. The reason I share these things here is to challenge you to say what it is you need to say. Too often we are guided by fear of the what ifs or fear of the outcome we least desire, but I think deluding ourselves that our inaction is the best course is far more dangerous. What if we were bold and took risks and really trusted people with the truth? Imagine how much that could deepen your friendships. Certainly prudence necessitates thinking before you speak as not every thought that pops in your head warrants utterance and not every moment is the correct one to speak up, but I know personally that I hold far too much back with certain people. This is one thing that I plan on working on in myself. I'll let you know how it goes.

So this is my first New Year's Resolution (NYR), almost 2 weeks before the new year. I don't really believe in NYRs for the simple fact that I feel when you recognize something in yourself you need to work on you should do it right then. I believe in reflection and growth throughout the year, but since this is a fairly recent realization about a change I want to make and it is so close to the new year I will call it an NYR. I have one more that I will be sharing with you in the coming days, it even has sub-resolutions so I know you're all very excited to hear what that one will be. ;)

Comments

Ashlee Liddell said…
Aziner, this is such a hard thing to learn. It is even harder to train yourself to do this if it has not been your habit...as I have been learning...

But I will tell you that there is one thing that has helped me begin to develop this skill more than anything else...that is my dear friend, your sister, Amber.

You see, everyone needs a friend who knows when to tell you the hard truth. A friend who knows when you can handle hearing it, and how to say, and one who loves you enough to walk with you through the completion or solution.

So Aziner, I pray for you this kind of friend...because the journey is that much more fulfilling, challenging, and life changing...
Tmproff said…
If you want to get into people's head, there is a way that helps. Do some study on body language. Only 40% of our communication is through vocal means.

You'd be surprised what people "say" during a conversation not using their mouth.

And I totally agree....throw caution to the wind...dont be afraid to ask a question if you dont understand!
aziner said…
The only trouble with the body language thing is that the particular person whose head I want to get into right now is one who I have quite the difficulty reading. Generally I'm very good with picking up non-verbal cues, but not in this instance & I think that's part of the frustration.