One of my good friends called tonight & I got to talk to him for awhile. I always really enjoy talking to him. He's just one of those people with whom I click really well. He knows me well enough to know if I'll probably like a movie or not. We work really well together. And he usually makes me laugh. Sometimes I wish LA wasn't quite so far away from the midwest.
Somedays I wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed in Omaha. I read this article recently that said it was detrimental for young single women who wanted to get married to be moving away from home and pursuing career paths. The article suggested that without the parents there to help guide relationships and limit a man's access to their daughter, which would then force him to marry her in order to spend the kind of time with her he coveted, without these boundaries relationships wouldn't have the proper guidance to help usher them into marriage. I think that a family's input on a relationship is extremely important, but I don't believe staying in Omaha would have changed that aspect of my life. And honestly as much as I want to be a wife and a mom, I'd rather be pursuing my dreams in LA than sitting in Omaha doing nothing. I've been thinking a lot about the "wife of noble character" described in Proverbs 31:10-31. This is not a woman who sat around at home waiting for some guy to sweep her off her feet. This woman does a little bit of everything & I think that's great. I heard a sermon once where the pastor spoke about this passage and said that Proverbs 31 wasn't some crazy checklist for women to try to become some sort of Martha Stewart, perfect at every little domestic thing. I agree with that, and while this passage is a king's mother telling him what to look for in a wife, I think it can also be taken as encouragement to women to pursue all of their passions. Yes, I love film but I also love cooking and being a part of the cafe, planning & hosting dinners & parties, decorating, writing, painting . . . and yes I want to be a wife & a mom. I don't think anyone should try to do everything, but I do think that you can & should be multi-faceted. So no I'm not sitting in my parents' house waiting for the guy who won't be scared off by my dad (who's really about as scary as Pagoda in The Royal Tenenbaums), instead I'm exploring all of the wonderful passions God has given me. I'd much rather be with the guy who wants to be with that version of me. Though to be clear, any guy still has to pass my dad's approval. :)
Somedays I wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed in Omaha. I read this article recently that said it was detrimental for young single women who wanted to get married to be moving away from home and pursuing career paths. The article suggested that without the parents there to help guide relationships and limit a man's access to their daughter, which would then force him to marry her in order to spend the kind of time with her he coveted, without these boundaries relationships wouldn't have the proper guidance to help usher them into marriage. I think that a family's input on a relationship is extremely important, but I don't believe staying in Omaha would have changed that aspect of my life. And honestly as much as I want to be a wife and a mom, I'd rather be pursuing my dreams in LA than sitting in Omaha doing nothing. I've been thinking a lot about the "wife of noble character" described in Proverbs 31:10-31. This is not a woman who sat around at home waiting for some guy to sweep her off her feet. This woman does a little bit of everything & I think that's great. I heard a sermon once where the pastor spoke about this passage and said that Proverbs 31 wasn't some crazy checklist for women to try to become some sort of Martha Stewart, perfect at every little domestic thing. I agree with that, and while this passage is a king's mother telling him what to look for in a wife, I think it can also be taken as encouragement to women to pursue all of their passions. Yes, I love film but I also love cooking and being a part of the cafe, planning & hosting dinners & parties, decorating, writing, painting . . . and yes I want to be a wife & a mom. I don't think anyone should try to do everything, but I do think that you can & should be multi-faceted. So no I'm not sitting in my parents' house waiting for the guy who won't be scared off by my dad (who's really about as scary as Pagoda in The Royal Tenenbaums), instead I'm exploring all of the wonderful passions God has given me. I'd much rather be with the guy who wants to be with that version of me. Though to be clear, any guy still has to pass my dad's approval. :)
Comments
secondly, let us never forget that Pagoda stabbed Royal twice when it came down to it. Sure he gets him help, but he will stick a knife in you if you cross him.
Raj, I think the article meant that women shouldn't move away from home in the first place, not that we should all now move back. Clearly those of us who have already moved away are screwed. :P I'm not saying Dad would stick a knife in anyone, but he's definitely not a man you want to cross. Generally he's mellow and fun and "ah tut tut tut," but you definitely don't want to push the limits.
Thanks Sherry. :)
Aziner, you are a gem!
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I just had to tell someone. I have no idea what I think about it and I don't have a point. I'd just never heard that before and it seemed simplistic to me, but possibly true. Any thoughts?
I think that it can sometimes feel like sex is the only bargaining chip we have, but I know couples (Christians too) who have had sex before marriage and are happily married. And I know girls who have not crossed many or any sexual boundaries and are nowhere close to "forcing" guys to marry them. I think the idea is somewhat unfair in suggesting that all guys really care about in a relationship is sex. And unrealistic about women in saying that all they want is a marriage. I think that there are plenty of Christian guys and girls as interested in sex AND marriage as their counterparts of the opposite gender. I'd be interested to hear what some of the guys have to say about this.