I feel like my heart is torn in 2 right now. I sat here thinking about what I was going to post tonight. I am a little nervous about the missions trip to Mexico I will be going on this weekend, so I was going to tell you about that & ask you to pray about it. And then I thought about what I had wanted to write about earlier today which is my frustration with the immigrant protests that will be taking place on Monday. And then it hit me. Maybe it was my brain waking up. Maybe it was God knocking on my soul. I can't say for sure. What I do know is that I am about to go spend the weekend looking into the faces of children who despite their impoverished circumstances I am sure are going to have some of the biggest grins on their faces you could ever hope to see. And here I am miffed about protests taking place trying to help improve the circumstances of those who have done their best to escape that same poverty. Do I agree with their tactics, their goal to "close down" major US cities including LA with their rally? No. Do I think those who knowingly disregard the laws of our nation should be rewarded for it? No. But can I look at the faces of beautiful children, who may one day have to consider making the same decisions, with my heart calloused toward their fellow countrymen just because they may cause me one day of inconvenience? Most definitely no. I don't know what the answer is to this whole immigration issue. My instincts say that if you aren't going to obey the laws you should suffer resolute consequences. I feel God asking me to think in a more kind & compassionate manner. I like to think that I have a genuinely loving spirit, but I'm starting to understand what Mark (my pastor, not the gospel writer) was talking about when he said that I cannot choose to be loving enough. The fruit of love that ought to be produced in me can only come from God. So I will go to Mexico this weekend and open my heart to the children there. Oh how it's so easy to love children. And on Monday I pray I will be filled with a spirit of patience & love for those who feel their only option, though I vehemently disagree, is to take to the streets in a radical way. And I will ask God to help me remember that they are no less deserving of love.