If you look closely, beyond the rain and the dirt on the window, you can see a rainbow here. It's faint but it's there. I wish I could see it for you. If you can't get past all that mars your vision right now I'm not sure my promise that it's there is enough. But even if you have to wade through a monsoon before you can see it, I'll be here waiting with you for a tiny sliver of sun to break through and offer you a ray of hope.I've been feeling a lot lately that words fall horribly short. I can only say I'm sorry so many times, offer hope so many times. And despite the fact that it's always uttered in sincerity, I know it begins to ring hollow. But the words I feel I most need to say, the beckoning to stop running from God, the one thing that would make all the difference in the world, those are the words that get trapped in my throat. I'm afraid of saying them almost as much as I'm afraid of not saying them. Oh that I would have the courage . . .
(I started this post at the end of February. Only now am I able to finish my thoughts on it. Perhaps soon I will be able to speak what remains unsaid.)
Comments
The weight of your words is not diminished by the number of times they are lifted and carried from your mouth to the hallowed hallways of those who embrace them, but by those who chip and bite them away until the original intent has been sold off to others, as in bondage.
Be not discouraged! Remember that from the heart, so the mouth overflows! I think I understand from what you suffer as I can sometimes feel the weight of that burden as well. But remember that in John 1 we are told that Jesus is the Word, powerful and mighty. His name, His voice, His charge rings true, undiminished and untainted even after 2,000 years of imperfect people trying their best to accomplish His perfect will.
Your words are weighty because they come with that authority.
On another note, I originally came by to tell you that the only time I root against your boys in red is when they play the bombers. Some would argue I am not a true fan, but I respect the courage it takes to cheer for a team that hadnt won a Series in over 90 years. I think we can be friends, Yanks, Red Sox, or otherwise.
Keith,
Your words are truly edifying. Thank you . . . I guess we can be friends. :)
Sorry about the slip up in years! I know you take your baseball seriously (as do I.) I just liked to think that you folk didn't win a Series since the beginning of the curse, back when we got Ruth and you got.. well.. nothin. I remembered it was in 1918, but didn't feel like doin' the math. Again, my apologies. (Go Yanks!)
I can get past the math thing, which is saying a good deal seeing as I am a bit of a math nerd and have an unnatural affinity for it. I can accept that not everyone does and let it go. However, if you have any desire for this friendship to work, such blasphemous statements as "Go Yanks!" should not be left to mar this space for it is akin to graffitiing a hamburger on the side of the Taj Mahal. Such things will not be tolerated. ;P
I like this sort of correspondance. Its fun.
Oh, and the Yanks quip wont find its way back to your page, I promise. (But you must refain from any obnoxious Red Sox quips on my blog; they will not be tolerated. - this is a warning, as I know you're dying to drop a line comparing records in the AL East right now. Don't even think about it! :) )
I too like this sort of correspondence. I think perhaps that you should see about getting your money back on that math minor. ;) In all seriousness though, that's cool that you can do all kinds of math in your head. I used to be much better at it, but I have not used so much of it in so long that short of most arithmetic and some algebra & geometry I cannot do much in my head anymore, but still I have an odd fascination with math. A job with so much math & english? Few people would be able to handle that without their heads exploding, that's fairly impressive.
Glad you liked my response to your Yankees quip. :) I quite appreciate your promise to never do it again. I too promise to keep all goodness that is the Red Sox from your page. For the sake of honesty, I didn't know what the AL East records were until your comment prompted me to check. I don't get too much into stats & standings until closer to the playoffs as things tend to change so much over the course of the season.
I will vouch for Keith's affinity for math. We had an English class together that house an advanced math class right before our class. I would get up and erase the board each day because the numbers raised my blood pressure, heightened my affective filter, and made it so I couldn't learn. Keith would just laugh and try to figure out what they were doing. Sick. You math people make me ill.
haha sorry math people make you ill, it's just so fascinating!