I had a revelation tonight. One that would have been fantastically more helpful a year ago or even 6 months ago. Not that it isn't useful now, just would have been more immediately applicable then & who knows what might be different. But for whatever reason it didn't come til now and I have to trust in God's perfect timing and trust that when the chance does come to apply it even if it's not the chance I want right now, that I will remember well what has been uncovered in my mind. I have a deep misunderstanding of the hows and whys of this world and of my God. The world is broken so I get that things aren't often as they should be. And when it comes to God I guess if I really got Him then he wouldn't be God. Sometimes though it'd be nice if things were a smidge easier.

I can only hope that looking back on this and how it will shape the future course of my life that I will be able to say that it was well worth it.