This cycle never ends
You gotta fall in order to mend
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know, I'll be okay
- Joshua Radin, "Brand New Day"
This past week was one of the more difficult in the whole breakup/healing process for me. And the funny thing is that because of it, I'm actually getting to a better place. Finally.
A lot has happened in my life over the past 2 years. None of which I could say I anticipated in the slightest. Some of it was amazingly wonderful. Some of it was fantastically craptastic. Because of it all, I've been thinking a lot about openness & honesty. At first I was planning on writing how honesty is always the best policy even when it hurts, but I've learned in this situation that the most hurtful honest feelings were the ones that were spoken and for some reason the most helpful honest feelings were the ones that were withheld. Sure, they would have had some sting too, but at least if they had been spoken in a timely manner they could have been acted upon. Though, I guess hindsight is the only way I can say what honesty should have been spoken sooner & what should have been couched. Maybe it would have been better for it all just to be on the table...
In some ways I'm exceedingly frustrated at things that weren't spoken timelier. But I'm coming to a point of acceptance about it all. For whatever reason, things didn't go how I hoped and in some ways even how they should have. That's not to say that the outcome would have been different, but I am certain a lot of the hurt could have been avoided for all parties involved. I can't say that right now I understand what God's purpose is in all of this, but I can say that I know He is using this to move me toward something. It's hard & in some ways really unwelcome as I wish it could have been learned sooner, but I'm trying to be open to it now that it is happening. And I know that if I can learn what He's showing me, things will go differently with my next relationship, at least along these lines.
Leona Lewis is right, "It's gonna hurt when it heals too. It'll all get better in time." It's finally starting to heal beyond sutures & that does hurt in some ways, but the hurt is necessary & I know better days are coming and I'm pretty sure many of them will start happening this month. It is February after all.
You gotta fall in order to mend
It's a brand new day
It's a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know, I'll be okay
- Joshua Radin, "Brand New Day"
This past week was one of the more difficult in the whole breakup/healing process for me. And the funny thing is that because of it, I'm actually getting to a better place. Finally.
A lot has happened in my life over the past 2 years. None of which I could say I anticipated in the slightest. Some of it was amazingly wonderful. Some of it was fantastically craptastic. Because of it all, I've been thinking a lot about openness & honesty. At first I was planning on writing how honesty is always the best policy even when it hurts, but I've learned in this situation that the most hurtful honest feelings were the ones that were spoken and for some reason the most helpful honest feelings were the ones that were withheld. Sure, they would have had some sting too, but at least if they had been spoken in a timely manner they could have been acted upon. Though, I guess hindsight is the only way I can say what honesty should have been spoken sooner & what should have been couched. Maybe it would have been better for it all just to be on the table...
In some ways I'm exceedingly frustrated at things that weren't spoken timelier. But I'm coming to a point of acceptance about it all. For whatever reason, things didn't go how I hoped and in some ways even how they should have. That's not to say that the outcome would have been different, but I am certain a lot of the hurt could have been avoided for all parties involved. I can't say that right now I understand what God's purpose is in all of this, but I can say that I know He is using this to move me toward something. It's hard & in some ways really unwelcome as I wish it could have been learned sooner, but I'm trying to be open to it now that it is happening. And I know that if I can learn what He's showing me, things will go differently with my next relationship, at least along these lines.
Leona Lewis is right, "It's gonna hurt when it heals too. It'll all get better in time." It's finally starting to heal beyond sutures & that does hurt in some ways, but the hurt is necessary & I know better days are coming and I'm pretty sure many of them will start happening this month. It is February after all.
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