in between the moon and you the angels get a better view

I'm tired. Aside from physical exhaustion resulting from the fact that nights I wake up 4 or more times at unreasonable hours outnumber nights I sleep through by more than 10 to 1, I'm spiritually tired. I'm tired of being stretched and grown and going & going & going through the middle. There has to be something on the other side, right? There has to be an other side? Sometimes I feel like it's all going to be worth it and other times I feel like life is a neverending middle. And it's exhausting. The easy times and the moments of unadulterated joy seem much like the fully restful nights. Potatoes seem to be helping the sleeplessness. Not sure what to do about the rest.