Nearly 4 years ago I had a dream about the frustrating dance that can be male/female interactions. A friend on whom I had a crush at the time and I were the starring players in this dream. At this point I don't remember many specific details save for the following as I had made note of it at the time.

I was startled awake from the dream just as my friend shouted, "I'm in love with you and I'm terrified!" Quite a thing to try to wrap your mind around upon waking. Of course not having transpired in reality there's no particular need to parse out the meaning of such an exclamation. But now so many years later having run across what I had jotted down about the dream at the time, I do have thoughts on it. And guess what, you get to hear them! I know, you're feeling very lucky right now. ;)

I genuinely desire that kind of love. A love that is so strong and amazing that it can also be completely frightening. And not in a bad or immobilizing sort of way, but in a way that you are so filled with it that you daren't screw it up. A love that is willing to take on the responsibility of what it really means to be a provider for a wife & eventual family. A love that says I will work for you, fight for you no matter what it takes--blood, sweat, & tears when necessary. A love that recognizes sometimes all 3 will be necessary & stands up mightily regardless. A love that reflects agape as much as is humanly possible. And it is a love I greatly desire to return.

Being the one inside my subconscious I can tell you that is how it was meant in the dream, even though it never did & never will translate into real life with that particular man. I hope that God will not take too much longer to bring me to the man He does have in mind for me.