"Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."
-- C.S. Lewis, "The Weight of Glory"
This quote has been bouncing about my head for a couple of weeks as I consider the unfathomable blessings God desires to lavish upon us. How easy it is to settle for the comfortable pseudo-blessings that we attempt to bring about ourselves by carefully controlling our lives. But what if? What if there are real blessings that are not only slightly better, but actually infinitely better than what we have the ability to even dream let alone bring about ourselves?
Too often we get derailed by our desires, especially when they go unfulfilled. We have a habit of acting impatiently and impetuously, determined to have what we want. These desires are not always bad, but they are nothing compared to what God has in mind.
I'm starting to wonder how many blessings I have missed out on because I have settled for mud pies. How many times have I failed to have long vision? How often do I fail to accept and appreciate that "no's" and "not yets" aren't a denial of blessings, but are instead shiny cobblestones on the path to things more beautiful than I have dared to hope?
To say that my life as it is currently is nothing like I ever imagined is an epic understatement, but there are endless blessings to be found in that. And in about 5 weeks things are about to change again, only not in the way they were "supposed to" and that I had been excited about. I had a minor freak out about that, but I've also found peace about it. God is up to something, and in that He's provided an opportunity for me to take a risk that I wasn't planning on yet and therefore do not feel entirely prepared for, but maybe that's the point. Maybe there is a holiday at sea to be found in jumping into the unknown, "exploring the infinite abyss" as it were. I know for sure I don't want to let my need for things to go according to my plan prevent me from finding out.
So here's to leaving behind weak desires and easy pleasures, and whole-heartedly holding out for what God has been dreaming up. Here's to setting aside playing in the mud in a slum of shortsightedness, and training my soul to find its sea legs for holidays beyond my ability to fathom.
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