rules of engagement

It has been quite some time since I've written about relationships, though much has been brewing in my mind the past several weeks. I feel compelled to hit upon 2 subjects related to this matter:
1. dating rules
2. the "friend zone" (which yes falls under the purview of rules, but is such a large topic it deserves it's own point.)

I recently heard a friend say, "I'm breaking all my rules in dating this girl, but it's going so well." Now don't misread that, he wasn't talking about compromising his morals or integrity. All he was doing was going against all the silly dating guidelines he had built up for himself.
Examples: (not specific to this friend)
1. don't date a friend
2. don't date someone from work
3. don't date someone younger
4. don't date someone who a friend used to have a crush on
5. don't date someone who doesn't like the same kind of movies/music/television as you

Okay wait, we might have something substantial with that 5th one there. But the other 4 may or may not be completely ridiculous. I get that people put these kinds of rules in place to protect themselves. And I see how there is some wisdom in some of them; dating someone from work could have horrible repercussions if it ends badly. But I don't think any of these rules should be hard and fast. Unless of course the person has poor taste in music, don't even pretend like you can put up with that for the long term. (I'm not really sure if I'm joking about that or not.)

I could ramble on and on about all of this saying how people should just take a risk, you might find something really meaningful if you weren't so busy trying to keep yourself from getting hurt. But after it all I only really have one thing to ask, are your rules working?

Oh it must also be said that the "don't date someone younger" rule is perfectly acceptable in regards to say 12 year olds, but a few years difference is not a big deal generally. Though really it would help if every 24 year old guy I know wasn't dating younger girls and every 27 year old guy wasn't dating girls their own age. You're leaving a huge gap for us 24 year old girls and we'd really appreciate it if you'd cut it out. :P

Point #2. The Friend Zone.
Again I realize that this is a point of protection for people, but honestly I think it's a lot of hooey. I recently had a friend say that once he's been friend with a girl for 6 weeks, if he hasn't made a move, it's never going to happen. Aside from the fact that this so unfairly puts the ball entirely in the guy's court, it leaves me wondering how on earth you know in 6 weeks from meeting a girl that she is or is not someone you'd like to date? In that amount of time you probably see each other 6-12 times maximum. Even if you see each other the estimated maximum of 12 times, I fail to see how that can possibly give you an accurate idea of whether or not you'd want to date this person. After hanging out with a guy a dozen times I can tell you only about 2 things: 1. his hair color, 2. if he's fun to hang out with. I don't know maybe that's enough for some people to start a dating relationship on. For me, I'd like something a little deeper, something I don't think you can really put a time line on.

I think what gets to me most about this whole Friend Zone thing is that I really don't understand how you can know a member of the opposite sex, get along with them, enjoy spending time with them, count on them, have similar interests, etc. and say to yourself man I wish I could find a girl with whom I got along, enjoyed spending time, could count on, share similar interests, etc. What is it that makes you relegate this person to a dateless void?

The other trouble with all of this is that most girls I know want to be really good friends with the guy they end up marrying. I realize that through a dating relationship friendship can also be built up, but I don't know I kinda think that if there isn't some basis there to begin with it's going to be hard to build on.

So now you may be thinking to yourself, wow she's being really unfair to guys. Surely she's stuck guys in the Friend Zone before. Honestly I don't think I have. (If any guys out there reading this disagree, please speak up.) I've never used the, "but we're such good friends" line on anyone. Nor do I intend to. I think it's almost always worth risking the friendship to pursue something better.

At the end of the day, I find myself beginning 2007 about to turn 25, still single and not having it look like that's gonna change any time soon. And I don't really like that.

Just for the record I do understand that for someone who has so many rules regarding proposals it's ironic that I'm opposed to dating rules, but it really comes down to romance vs. ridiculous and I think we all know that I'm pro-romance and anti-ridiculous, so it's really not all that strange. Plus I'm a girl, it's my prerogative not to make any sense. ;)