I once had marigolds for eyes

This piece was mostly written about the idea of a future someone, whom I do not yet know, though admittedly it was influenced by someone specific. Lately my thoughts have been dwelling on periwinkle dreams again and even on that specific man. Sometimes I wonder if God has been setting a plan in motion through everything that has happened in the 4 years since that writing. I really can't say for sure. My heart is very much in the habit of getting way ahead of me, so I'm trying just to relax and be patient and see what (if anything) happens. All I know for sure is that whatever and whomever God brings in my path, I trust that He will completely & delightfully surprise me. That's very exciting. :)

Other thoughts have been dwelling on something my dear friend Shauna wrote in a lovely post over the weekend. The whole post is worth a read to be sure, but the part that's found itself bouncing about my head is this:

Isn't that what we need to be for each other? calling out to others in their darkness and bringing along a bit of light?

Over the past year or so I've learned a lot about myself, learned that some of the things I do, some of the boundaries I have a difficult time upholding for myself are because I'm a people pleaser. I so greatly desire to be liked and appreciated that I can empty myself for the sake of others. This is of no good to anyone. But finding a proper balance has been difficult.

And then I read what Shauna wrote and it started clicking. Am I doing something because I need to feel appreciated or am I doing something because God has blessed me with a capacity to shine a little light into someone's life at this given moment? Does being a light-bringer supersede my needs/wants only in the moment? Am I able to do this without any expectations in return? Ultimately do I care enough about this person to exercise whatever capacity, no matter how small, I may have to bring light to them? This is helping me figure out a more proper balance. It becomes about being a conduit for God's light rather than a receptacle for man's praise or approval. I can't say I won't fail at it, but it's a helpful perspective.

I am quite blessed by Shauna's friendship--clearly she is very wise and she is also a great light-bringer herself! You would be quite lucky to know her. :)