Today isn't sitting well with me. And that's strange because it wasn't a bad day. In fact on paper it would look like a great day. I had normal Saturday breakfast with the girls where we made chocolate chip pancakes and talked about boys. Or rather the other girls talked about boys, I was rather untalkative today. Then a quick trip to Target with Nicole where I bought a few of my favorite things: Care Bear bandaids, the new issue of Real Simple, and Diet Coke plus (that's Diet Coke with vitamins!). After we came home I ate cereal for lunch while watching my Red Sox beat the Yankees. :) Then I cooked sweet corn cake and pbj cheesecake bars (which I made up for a recipe contest & they're fabulous btw). And tonight was spent at a friend's house. Admittedly I was not in a social enough mood to be there, but I spent most of the evening playing with a tiny puppy so it was okay in that respect. And somehow I am sitting here at the end of a theoretically decent day & I just feel out of sorts and kinda sad. I think a part of it is due to a friendship that has fallen through the cracks & I don't know why & I don't know what to do to get it back. I used to depend on this person. I used to know that if I had a bad day (like a real bad day, not like today) I could call him and in 5 minutes he'd make me feel better. In fact when I moved to LA and was having a really hard time & was so alone, he always encouraged me and told me how proud he was of me for jumping in. The reason it's on my mind so much right now is this friend's birthday is coming up soon and I don't know what to do about it. It's been more than 4 months since we've communicated in any sort of manner. A part of me feels like I should call or at least email him. Another part of me feels like he won't care or respond because he hasn't for months. It's always sad when friendships fade, but mostly I've come to realize it's a part of life & accept that things change. But I don't think I'm ready to let this one go gently into that good night just yet.