reverie

I'm tired. Aside from physical exhaustion resulting from the fact that nights I wake up 4 or more times at unreasonable hours outnumber nights I sleep through by more than 10 to 1, I'm spiritually tired. I'm tired of being stretched and grown and going & going & going through the middle. There has to be something on the other side, right? There has to be an other side? Sometimes I feel like it's all going to be worth it and other times I feel like life is a neverending middle. And it's exhausting. The easy times and the moments of unadulterated joy seem much like the fully restful nights. Potatoes seem to be helping the sleeplessness. Not sure what to do about the rest.

A few weeks ago I went over to my friend Rachel's place to bring her food when she was sick. I stopped by the Ralph's by her place and discovered something delightful: vitaminwater10. That's 10 calories per serving! It only comes in 4 flavors right now, but one of those is XXX which is my favorite non-retired VW flavor. (rest in peace VitalTea...) Since then I hadn't seen VW10 in any other stores. But when I checked Target this week not only did I find this: I also found these! Two new flavors! Sorry I'm a spaz and just now realized that I photographed the ingredients side of tranquilo rather than the amusing story. D'oh! Oh well. I enjoyed both flavors, though tranquilo could have lived with a stronger flavor overall. I think I'll still stick with XXX10 most of the time, but I'm sure I will pick these up every now & again. In other photo news, the cherry blossoms at Lake Balboa are sort of blooming! Here are a couple of my favorite shots ...

The arrival of 2009 meant something far more lovely than just a new year, it meant a year with a May Day on a weekend!!! I am already planning festivities in my head and will be sending out an evite as soon as is reasonable! I don't think I can accurately describe how much I enjoy this holiday or how much I am looking forward to its celebration. My dream is to make this the biggest & best May Day celebration in the history of Azina--not tough I assure you as this will be the first time I host a May Day party, but exciting nonetheless! If you are in the area or are compelled to travel for the holiday, please do join me--May 1st, my apartment. :)

I watched Notting Hill for the first time last night in quite awhile. I had forgotten how much I love that movie. It's cute and it's quirky and it's what I want for my life. No matter how complicated and confusing things seem to be, in the end they work out. I want a man who realizes I'm worth racing through the streets of London for. And I want to stand in front of him and tell him that all I'm asking is for him to love me. And of course I want the violin playing goat. ;) I'm the last person who thinks life can/should be like a chick flick. But maybe it can be closer to that simple than we often allow it to be. Right? I hope so.

Happy Pi Day! Today is a day when you can appreciate nerdiness because it means you have a good excuse to eat pie! Not that you need one of course. And in my opinion nerdiness is appreciable everyday. :) Otherwise I might have to cry that I have Pi memorized to the 25th decimal...

I'm a music junkie. I love discovering new tunes, new bands, new covers. My tastes are highly diverse and highly picky though not snobbish or "refined." I just know what I like and skip over what I don't. A band/song/genre that I dislike will grate on me more than nails on a blackboard. I have about a dozen music blogs I check from time to time. I don't really tend to read them much, just go there for the mp3 samples and form my own opinions. Tonight I discovered a song that I totally dig so I thought, why not share some of my favorite music of late? Maria Taylor - Cartoons and Forever Plans the aforementioned song and the source of this post's title Depeche Mode - Wrong new song Anberlin - Feel Good Drag originally off of Never Take Friendship Personal, rerecorded for Surrender and getting a lot of play on KROQ Greg Laswell - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun great cover Flo Rida - Right Round I know, I know. It's fun driving music, though. Don't jud...

Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalm 37:4 I've been meditating on this verse over the past couple of months. Not in a vending machine God sort of way--put in prayers, make your selection & get what you want (which of course doesn't work nor would it be beneficial), but rather the transformative meaning behind it. I really believe that this is about God changing our hearts, planting His desires in them, and then delighting us with the perfect plan He has set out for our lives. I was talking with a friend the other night about the small wonders that God gives us. We were talking about rainbows and how wonderful they are. God gave us something so beautiful as a reminder of a promise. He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to give us a sign, let alone one so delightful. Yet He did and does. He concerns Himself with bringing us joy even in small ways: a butterfly flitting past at just the right moment, a flower b...

If you could capture bliss, liquefy it, and pour it in a mug, I have no doubt that what would result is chai. The real stuff, though, not what you get at Starbucks. I mean, the Starbucks stuff is okay and decent. But I'm talking about stove top simmered milk, tea & spices. Mmm. Tastes like bliss to me. :)

I am giddily, stupidly, exceedingly happy right now. It's been awhile & it feels good. And truthfully while I've been really happy, had really great moments & memories & life experiences, I haven't felt exactly this way in about 4 years. I'm not quite sure what to think about that. It's a good reminder & is reinvigorating. And I think that even if it doesn't turn out to mean what I used to hope & what I'm beginning to hope anew that it will at least mean I'll hold out for nothing less. It's indescribably exciting. I have no idea what puzzle pieces will take shape, but I do know that when I get to a place where I can look back and see more fully the picture that is currently forming it will delight my heart--as it always does. :) Tonight I went to the Sunday evening service at my church for the first time in over 5 months. I enjoy the morning service and had even come to believe that I liked it better than the evening ser...