reverie

In under 7 innings, Varitek (Red Sox Catcher & Captain) can hit 2 homeruns that gave us the win, go to bat (so-to-speak) with the homeplate ump on Josh Beckett's behalf, and take an ejection that otherwise would have likely been handed to the Ace. And of course Francona came out to protect Tek which landed him his own ejection. Settle down Ump Tichenor! Check this out . This was in the same inning that the Twins catcher and manager were also thrown out by Tichoner. I think someone needs to go back to umpire school and get off the power trip. Ridiculous. Yes, I know you can't argue balls & strikes, but give me a break. If both teams are that upset with you, your umping is probably made of fail. Oh well, at least we got the win. And we're on top of the AL East, so that part of the world is exactly as it should be! :)

Today was bookended by sorrow and joy. Upon arriving at work this morning, I learned that one of the beloved executives of the company had passed away unexpectedly. I had a brief cry over it this morning, but I know that once my mind fully comprehends the reality, tears will flow more freely. At this moment it still feels unreal. Conversely, this evening I was blessed to reconnect with a very dear friend whom I had not truly hung out with in 6 months! It's unbelievable how quickly time can pass & how a missed coffee date here or there can turn into half a year passing. But oh what delight there is in picking up as if no more than a day or two had passed and laughing & sharing about everything from tv shows about vampires to celebration & love. This friend, Maria, recently celebrated her 5th wedding anniversary with her wonderful husband James. And she sat there telling me about a love story & journey that has developed over and lasted far longer than 5 years....

Please excuse the wonkiness while I make some changes. I'll get things smoothed out within the next few days.

This first part in italics was written last week. The non-italicized part that follows is where I am tonight. Praise God for change. Lately I feel like a complete fraud. I'm not excited about church or p&w or truthfully even God. I sat in church last Sunday going through the motions, singing songs simply because I had them memorized, bored by the sermon, and overall feeling nothing. And it's scary & frustrating. I hope it's just fatigue with a sermon series that has dragged on for 3+ months, but honestly I'm not sure & that's frightening. I'm at a point right now where even though in my head I know I'm incredibly blessed in a lot of ways, I find myself measuring my life by what I don't have. And more frustratingly by what seemingly everyone else around me, with few exceptions, does have. I'm hurt and I'm angry. I'm in a faith desert & I don't like it one bit. Only I have no idea where to find an oasis. Blessed be...

...because apparently they don't. So many conflicting reports are swirling around out there about guys: Guys are dumb. Guys are smarter than they let on. Guys like attention even from a girl in whom they have no interest. Guys don't know when a girl likes them. Guys know when a girl is into them. Even if a guy knows he'll often play dumb; it's an easy out. What's the truth? And who's going to invent the decoder ring to help us figure it out?? Actually scrap the decoder, I'm done trying to figure it out. 1) because I'm waiting for a guy whose signals I don't have to read, who will have the courage just to come right out & ask me on a date. and 2) because I think the truth tends to lie much closer toward the "guys are smarter than they let on" end of the spectrum than anywhere else and that should, and does as far as I'm concerned, require them to take on a little more responsibility. If you think a girl might be interested &...