reverie

Don't make plans in October! Thankfully the Red Sox are in the postseason, but I will be missing games 1 & 2 of the ALDS against the Angels. Hopefully I will be able to watch game 3, which may or may not be the last game of the series depending on how things go. And in the event that we make the World Series, for which I have to hope, I will have to push back my tentatively planned apple orcharding as it would interfere with game 4. Additional note to self: find friends who watch baseball & will understand my need not to make plans during October. Seriously, no one gets the awesomeness, they all seem to think it's football season or something ridiculous like that. Sigh.

I have a fondness for balloons in places they don't belong, little bright spots in an otherwise unremarkable place. I almost always take a picture. I have countless photos of balloons floating randomly off to who knows where. This photo is from last week & by far my favorite. Of course when they're flying off to unknown locales I do always worry that they'll end up in the ocean & harm poor turtles or dolphins--by far the best sea creatures as sometimes they will best sharks & that's pretty badass. I know errant balloons do cause trouble, but I have to hope that the ones I see end up in Never Never Land or something instead. Second star to the right, straight on til morning . . .

Winter accessories are starting to find their way into Target! And while retail stores have a habit of ushering in seasons waaay before they're actually upon us, at least this means winter can't be too far off now. Plus now you can start stocking up on cute (or manly if that's you) hats & mittens & scarves. Woot! and Hazaa! and all that. Looks like I need to pick up my crochet hook again & get cracking!

In my hopes for this year I mentioned that I wanted to read more books, at least 6 this year. Despite a few pallid attempts, I have not done so well with that goal. Truth be told with the year about 70% over I have not done so well with many of the goals. I have not forgotten them and I do not think goals are bound by calendar years so I will be okay to still aim for them even as the days of '08 wane. In the past few weeks I have taken up reading again though. Spiritual works are my preference of the moment as I try to press more fully into God and allow him to carry me through. Here is my reading list as it stands: 1. To Own a Dragon - Donald Miller (completed) This book is written for guys who grew up without a father, but I think it is useful too for any people, maybe particularly in their 20s, who are still trying to make sense of life. Plus Donald Miller has such a great writing style & a great way of looking at the world that I think his works are always worth a sh...

the sky looked deceptively wintry this morning oh how i wish it were not a farce i could use the stillness and clarity that only come in a world frozen over the reminder brought from falling on your face on the mountain that pain is temporary it always fades and always heals the joy of trying something new again and getting back up despite the fear of crashing and the hope of new life that comes as buds endeavor through the snow on the early wings of Spring ( though Spring can take it's dear sweet time, I'd really like a long winter & several chances to get up to the mountains )

About 2 months ago I sent a few messages back and forth with a woman named Jessica on Flickr. Her wedding story had been featured on Offbeatbride.com . This has been a favorite site of mine for a couple years as I love wedding stuff and party planning. It's pretty much the best of both worlds and furthermore gives great ideas for cost saving measures, and what 20-something party planner on a budget couldn't use that? Jessica's story caught my attention because she had a beautiful outdoor wedding for under $1000! That's AMAZING. And as it's my goal when the time comes to have a wedding for under $2000, I thought it would be useful to pick her brain for future reference if she was open to it. Thankfully she was very kind. One of my main questions was about photography and as fate would have it she's a photographer within reasonable driving distance of Los Angeles and said that she'd be happy to work out a deal with us if possible. That in itself was v...

I kinda like that my God doesn't do things the way we expect. For instance in a strange way I'm learning more about love through a breakup than I think I ever have in my life. I'm learning that though I shut out my family for the most part over the past year, they are still here for me in my toughest time. And I'm learning that love can mean making a selfless decision that hurts you and isn't what you want, but it's what you do because you're trying to look out for someone else. And I'm learning that love means not warring against someone who made a tough decision that ended up hurting both of you. And it means an abiding hope that God can work things out at the appointed time and if you really are supposed to be with someone time & space & distance matter not. I'm learning that it means accepting a circumstance for what it is and seeking growth & peace & friendship until such time that God brings you to one another again, shoul...

At my office there is a man named Walter. He is a Guatemalan immigrant probably in his early 30s. He does maintenance/custodial work for the building. He calls me amiguita, the Spanish diminutive form of friend. I speak enough broken Spanish & he enough broken English that we can communicate. He tells me of his wife & family and I had told him of my family & boyfriend. Whenever he sees me he always asks how I am and about mi novio (boyfriend) & today I was not good at putting on faces. I couldn't offer a fake bien (well). And he asked if I was sick. I said no. Triste (sad)? Yes. And so he concernedly sought the root of it, which didn't take much. And this isn't a story about me having a tough day or to make anyone feel bad. At this moment thanks to God & people in my office & my mom & a breaking of silence I'm feeling somewhat better. But the reason I tell this story is that Walter made sure I smiled before he walked away from my...

If you're the praying type, please send one up for me. I am heartbroken. :( This is much more than I can bear alone.

It never ceases to amaze me the way God can shout through your pain. "I'm still here! I haven't given up, just hold my hand and I'll get you through this." It's incredibly difficult to trust sometimes especially when life goes in a direction completely opposite from what you planned/hoped/expected. The sermon tonight was on peace & Gideon. Peace I need and have in some ways been overwhelmed with, not because things are right or good at the moment or because I think they are how they are meant to be (they're certainly not), but rather because I know the God I serve brings peace in the midst of turmoil and does not leave things broken. Shalom is not bound by circumstances, praise God for that. Gideon, of all the characters to bring up, I'm blown away that his story was the launching place for the sermon tonight. He is my biblical hero; he is with whom I most identify. He was the least likely candidate, the weakest one of the weakest clan, hidi...