reverie

I spent tonight in Chino hanging out with Pieter, got to meet his friend Steph so that was cool. It was a really good night except for two things, it took over 2 hours to get there b/c of craptacular LA traffic (it's only 45 miles away), and the second thing is that Pieter was wearing brown shoes and he had his black pea coat on, so I was quite distracted by all of the clashing going on there. Ah, I kid, I'm sorry I couldn't resist. Don't be mad, I heart you. Plus you should consider it a testament to your straightness. :) Oh, by the way, that's part of what I was writing down on my little notecard tonight, a reminder to mention that, which is why you couldn't see it. I know, I am a cruel and horrible person. Watch, now you'll just move away to Oregon & never speak to me again. Okay, so I didn't mean to make this pick on Pieter time. Seriously, though, I am sad that one of the first official friends I've made since moving to LA will not be around...

It has become clear to me that we all need to take a trip to Vegas. Perhaps we could disguise it as a scientific study on the correlation of enneagram type and ability to gamble well. I'm thinking there's a positive correlation. Anyone else want to get in on this? We could get grant money! And so that the participants will feel properly motivated, they would have to be allowed to keep their winnings. Should be fun. Maybe then we can fund the company without anyone having to resort to surrogacy. You know you can make (by "you" I'm referring to the girls) around $20,000 for being a surrogate? The catch is you have to have already had one child. And that's really a lot to go through for money from a stranger. At Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago I saw a book called 14,000 things to be happy about. I didn't look at the book, but I found the concept intriguing, so I will now share with you 14,000 things that make me happy . . . okay maybe not that many but ...

I would just like to thank Pieter for his inquiry that led to the long and painful journey into the world of humping. Everyone please do your best not to read into that last phrase. Ronnie, I would just like to point out that if my entire readership plus two strangers would comment on my blog I would surpass your little 25 in no time. Or if two of my readers would decide to use my blog as a forum to slander each other I would also not have a problem surpassing that number. However, I'm not about the numbers, I'm simply interested in divulging my thoughts here and encouraging whatever discussion may grow out of that. Also, I must add that I'm somewhat disturbed that you commented on Shauna's blog. I think it's great that you went there & felt compelled to comment. I'm just saying that it's a little weird for me how you are trying to ensnare one of my friends who has not become caught in this web of craziness. ;) You know what I'm saying though? It...

I have a tendency to harass my friends who do not update as frequently as I would like, and so I thought I would extricate myself from my hypocrisy and post something. I have wanted to blog all day long, though I have little to say. Perhaps it is because I am trying to work on a screenplay and am trying to save all of my wit and insight for that. I apologize that you are left with the few remaining trappings that I have to offer. I am currently listening to Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch. It's a wonderful song that was in Garden State, but did not make it on the soundtrack unfortunately. But thank goodness for Napster. Speaking of good music, All Kinds of Time by Fountains of Wayne was in Scrubs tonight. I'll have to use my last free music credit to download that one. Hooray for a return of new episodes. Tuesdays have become my new amusement night. In college it was Thursdays, I would watch the first two hours of NBC's Thursday line-up. This was back before the days of The App...

Unfortunately I'm saying that metaphorically as well as literally. Oh how part of me wishes it was just literally. A week ago I thought that I would soon be starting a second job and that I may finally be financially independent of my parents. I hate having to ask for money, and not out of some stupid sense of pride but because moving out here was my choice and I hate that my being here is a financial burden for them. Anyway, I was "let go" yesterday. Randomly out of the blue my boss tells me that he doesn't really need my help any more, and not to take it as a reflection of my performance, they loved having me work there, they just don't need me. Compliments aren't particularly worth much when you've just been told your source of income is gone. Nice how I had worked my arse off this week on that wretched page long thank you letter that he was being anal retentive about. Could have fired me before putting me through that crap. And no word on that second j...

He asked me, "What has impressed upon you of late? What mysteries of the world have made themselves known?" I had to laugh. These questions implied that I had been paying attention to anything in the world outside of myself. I feel consumed and drawn in. I cannot contemplate the mysteries right now. I am busy considering depressing realities. I am immersed in conflicting emotions of inexplicable happiness and sorrow brought upon by starving hopes. The mystery I am grappling with is how words and emotions can be so utterly misleading. I want to shelter my heart, keep it from searching but I fear building walls that may be too difficult to tear down. And so I risk. What has impressed upon me? Aside from the ever present concern about finances, all that has been pressing on me is thinking about how soon I will be 23. And I worry just a bit that I have not changed in the past year. In the deepest parts of my mind I know this is not true. I have learned to live by myself. I have e...

Not in the sense that I'm addicted to pain killers or that I'm terminally ill or bitter, but in the sense of my favorite quote from the film that I transcribed for you some time ago, the one about being happy. It has been a strange week. Upon leaving Houston my luggage was promptly lost and then returned to me. Somehow the rain caused them to lose it, not sure how that works out but whatever. I returned to work and actually had stuff to do to keep me busy the whole time. I spoke to the woman who will hopefully be hiring me in the mornings so that I might be able to afford living out here and no longer have to ask my parents for help. The way I justify it is my sister got married right after college, which of course is a decent expense especially when your dad decides he needs to re-carpet the upstairs the week of the wedding. Anyway, they didn't have that expense with me & while at this point I've probably cost them more than a wedding would have, it's how I jus...

As promised, here is a picture of my new niece. This is Jadyn and I on Christmas. :)

Why does blogger always forget to remember my log in even though I check the remember me box every time? Crazy. So it's late and I don't feel like going to bed because I have all sorts of things jousting in my mind, so I thought I'd share some perfectly random thoughts with all of you wonderful people. How to tell you've been watching too much Gilmore Girl's: 1. You have a dream that takes place in Star's Hollow with all of the main characters. (Imaginary hanging out at Luke's diner is quite fun.) 2. You wake up with the Gilmore Girl's theme song in your head. Anyone want to go see Modest Mouse in LA next month? I'll drive if you promise to buy me a tshirt. ;) I also want to go ice skating. I've never been & really want to. ("There's a handful of normal kid things I kinda missed.") Tonight we had a girls night & just chilled at the apartment and talked about life and boys and family and mole rats and hairless cats and evil a...

How can tomorrow already be Friday? How can a week have passed since I was seeing their beautiful faces everyday? How can my feelings for someone change 6 times in one conversation? How can life take you so many places you never expected? How can I know that I need Him so dearly and push Him away so callously? How can I wait any longer not having any idea if the one thing I really want will ever happen for me? How can time seem so fluid? How can I talk to you til all hours of the morning and never be so sure that you're not the one I'm waiting for? How can I be in a business that is so driven by money and hate money and the unabashed pursuit of it? How can I see you and not know if I've met you yet? How can there be Ikea in the Middle East, does that not seem odd? How can I suddenly forget how to spell Australia? How can I post this with its bizarre melange of personal questions, random questions, and a French word? How can I not? Right, by not pushing the ...

Woo! Today I actually had stuff to do pretty much the whole time at work. Then after work off to Panera for dinner with the roomies and Pieter. Way fun. Good to officially meet Pieter and feel confident that he's not a psycho stalker serial killer guy. Not that anything about him made me think that, but I'm pretty sure that girls who get psycho stalked and serial killed by people they meet online don't think "hey, I bet this guy is a psycho stalker serial killer, but just in case he turns out not to be I'll go meet him." So yay for my first official friend in LA. Not that I don't have 2 other friends, but Pieter is the first friend I've made independently of school or other friends, thus making him my first friend if that makes sense. So yes, good dinner then chilling in Santa Monica for a bit. And then when I got home I had a banana, which why do you care, right? I'll tell you why because it was a Chiquita banana which those of you who know my ne...

Who made it 2005 already? Oy, I'm feeling old. Six weeks 'til I'm 23. Why does 23 sound so much older in my head than 22 does? It's silly because my dear friend Shauna is 23 and I don't think of her as old. At least I won't until she turns 24 exactly one month after I turn 23. ;) Kidding, of course. Shauna is great, you should meet her sometime. So this is the official first post of the new year. The first new post of the first new year since my blogging days have begun. Hopefully this will be the first of many new years to ring in here. It seems there is much to say from my blogging absence, though I will certainly not hit all of the highlights. It snowed on Christmas Eve as I flew into Houston and actually continued to snow most of the day and into the evening. It was quite wonderful. I got to spend time with my sister and brother-in-law and their two darling girls. It was so much fun and leaving was so depressing. There's nothing better than a small...