reverie

Hey friends, I promise very soon to return to regular blogging here. For real! In the short meantime, though, feel free to check out my new political blog Boston Chai Party that I'm writing with Amber & Raj. Many of you know where I stand politically, but this blog is not about my or my siblings' opinions; it's about bringing news & information to the forefront for discussion so that people can form their own thoughts with a more complete idea of the facts, many of which are overlooked, ignored, or even hidden by mainstream media outlets. If politics aren't your thing, no worries, I won't be offended in the slightest, that's why we created a separate space for this, but if they are your thing I'd love to have you join us over there. Coming Soon: perhaps a return of to blank with love? We shall see...

Please excuse my long absence. Thank you for those who have requested my return. Truthfully I just haven't had much to say here. Perhaps it's Twitter's fault. Perhaps it's just too difficult to write about the things that have really been on my heart lately, whether because they are too joyful, too frustrating, or too complex. Still I find myself without much to say, but I decided I should write as I have locked myself in my room because my roommate is watching Twilight in the living room and I'd rather kill bunnies than have my eyes or ears assailed by anything related to that debacle, and I really love bunnies! But that's just how much I hate Twilight. It frightens & saddens my heart that young girls (and truthfully, sadly grown women as well) are reading this garbage and thinking that this crazy, gross stalker is dreamy & represents what love should be. It makes me want to puke. It's really no good whatsoever. Well sorry, but that's ...

5. wandered around Amoeba Records--one of my favorite places 4. went to a great Indian restaurant for dinner by myself. I was supposed to go with a friend, and though that fell through I decided I still wanted to go. 3. chatted a bit with my waiter and he asked for my number before I left. :) 2. saw Away We Go (for my 2nd time) with my good friends Dan & Amy 1. my RED SOX shut out the Yankees!!! we are now 6-0 on the season against them. this hasn't happened since 1912! here's hoping we can keep the streak alive!

Just had to share the little song I found myself singing on the way home from the grocery store tonight. pepper turkey, pepper turkey, pepper turkey I love some pepper turkey it's my favorite sandwich lunch meat! Guess what I bought for work lunches this week. ;) Yeah, I know I'm a dork. I'm totally okay with that.

In under 7 innings, Varitek (Red Sox Catcher & Captain) can hit 2 homeruns that gave us the win, go to bat (so-to-speak) with the homeplate ump on Josh Beckett's behalf, and take an ejection that otherwise would have likely been handed to the Ace. And of course Francona came out to protect Tek which landed him his own ejection. Settle down Ump Tichenor! Check this out . This was in the same inning that the Twins catcher and manager were also thrown out by Tichoner. I think someone needs to go back to umpire school and get off the power trip. Ridiculous. Yes, I know you can't argue balls & strikes, but give me a break. If both teams are that upset with you, your umping is probably made of fail. Oh well, at least we got the win. And we're on top of the AL East, so that part of the world is exactly as it should be! :)

Today was bookended by sorrow and joy. Upon arriving at work this morning, I learned that one of the beloved executives of the company had passed away unexpectedly. I had a brief cry over it this morning, but I know that once my mind fully comprehends the reality, tears will flow more freely. At this moment it still feels unreal. Conversely, this evening I was blessed to reconnect with a very dear friend whom I had not truly hung out with in 6 months! It's unbelievable how quickly time can pass & how a missed coffee date here or there can turn into half a year passing. But oh what delight there is in picking up as if no more than a day or two had passed and laughing & sharing about everything from tv shows about vampires to celebration & love. This friend, Maria, recently celebrated her 5th wedding anniversary with her wonderful husband James. And she sat there telling me about a love story & journey that has developed over and lasted far longer than 5 years....

Please excuse the wonkiness while I make some changes. I'll get things smoothed out within the next few days.

This first part in italics was written last week. The non-italicized part that follows is where I am tonight. Praise God for change. Lately I feel like a complete fraud. I'm not excited about church or p&w or truthfully even God. I sat in church last Sunday going through the motions, singing songs simply because I had them memorized, bored by the sermon, and overall feeling nothing. And it's scary & frustrating. I hope it's just fatigue with a sermon series that has dragged on for 3+ months, but honestly I'm not sure & that's frightening. I'm at a point right now where even though in my head I know I'm incredibly blessed in a lot of ways, I find myself measuring my life by what I don't have. And more frustratingly by what seemingly everyone else around me, with few exceptions, does have. I'm hurt and I'm angry. I'm in a faith desert & I don't like it one bit. Only I have no idea where to find an oasis. Blessed be...

...because apparently they don't. So many conflicting reports are swirling around out there about guys: Guys are dumb. Guys are smarter than they let on. Guys like attention even from a girl in whom they have no interest. Guys don't know when a girl likes them. Guys know when a girl is into them. Even if a guy knows he'll often play dumb; it's an easy out. What's the truth? And who's going to invent the decoder ring to help us figure it out?? Actually scrap the decoder, I'm done trying to figure it out. 1) because I'm waiting for a guy whose signals I don't have to read, who will have the courage just to come right out & ask me on a date. and 2) because I think the truth tends to lie much closer toward the "guys are smarter than they let on" end of the spectrum than anywhere else and that should, and does as far as I'm concerned, require them to take on a little more responsibility. If you think a girl might be interested &...

Last night I heard 1234 by the Plain White T's. It's a fun song that reminds me of this song from Square One TV. Yes, I'm a nerd; I'm pretty sure we've been over this! ;) That's probably my favorite thing from the whole series. Other fun numbers: 16-11 -- the final score of the Red Sox/Yankees game Saturday. It was INTENSE! But we pulled it out. 4:21 -- the time of both Friday's and Saturday's games against the Yankees 11 -- the number of games the Red Sox have won in a row including a 3-game sweep of the Yankees!!! and now we're tied for 1st place in the AL East! 400+ million -- what the Yankees spent during the off season to acquire some of the hottest free agents. How's that working out for you? I mean, I already knew we had CC Sabathia's number, but we were able to dismantle Burnett after he was gifted a 6-0 lead, and Teixeira's not looking too hot against us right now either. I know things can always turn around, but I must ...

This weekend bring the first Red Sox/Yankees match-up of the season, and I am stoked! The Red Sox are red hot right now and come into this series with a 7 game winning streak. The team has hit a stride. Papi tweaked his mechanics & has started producing. Back-up players are hitting 2 and 3 run homers. Veterans are in the game. A lot of our pitching is golden right now and when it's not, our guys have runs to back them up and a dynamic bullpen. This weekend should be exciting. Speaking of exciting--at the Sunday game of the Red Sox/Angels series a couple weeks ago I saw the benches (and bullpens) clear for the first time in person. Kind of crazy. Here's a shot with all the players on the field. Not really what's supposed to happen, but made for some cool photos. :) The homeplate ump called time late, and as a pitcher once you're in motion (as Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett was) you have to continue or you risk career-ending injury. They are taught to just ...

I have had a great 4 day weekend. It was really nice spending the weekend with my sister, brothers, sister-in-law, and youngest nephew. It was also fun seeing the Red Sox for their 3 games against the Angels, even though we lost 2 of 3 games. (boo hoo hoo) Even though every game counts, I do have to remember that this is only the first week of the season and I need to be patient for them to settle into their groove. I always have such a hard time going back to work after time off, even just one day. I always pictured that by this point in my life I'd be a housewife/stay-at-home mom. As it is, I'm considering going back to school and completely changing my career path--a thought that really makes me sad. The idea of four more years of school and who knows how much more debt is nauseating & burdensome. I don't really know what else to do at this point. I started keeping a list of all the things I'd like to do in a given day or week to help determine what caree...

Here's a rundown of all the awesomeness I have planned over the next 2 weeks. I'm STOKED!!! Tonight -- my film program roomie's birthday party Saturday -- girls' night at a champagne & dessert bar to celebrate my current roomie's birthday, should be completely fabulous :) Sunday -- lunch with my dear friend Jodi who is moving away soon, which is happy/sad. then rockin' some Cuban food for cafe, which incidentally works out perfectly as a jazz/latin combo is playing (didn't know that when I planned the menu) Monday -- more celebratin' of the roomie's birthday and also BASEBALL SEASON STARTS!!! next Friday -- not working! the brothers and sister and youngest nephew descend upon Los Angeles. Ravi & I head to Red Sox game 1 of 3 next Saturday -- we all head to Red Sox game 2 of 3 and then probably some Red Robin love and then the sister-in-law arrives next Sunday -- Easter, I'm glad I get to take all my siblings to my church even though t...

1. As a point of further explanation on the potato thing in the earlier post--I read that eating potatoes at any point in the day helps with sleep as they absorb acids in the body that can interfere with the effects of tryptophan (you know the happy sleepy stuff found in turkey & dairy). This does seem to be true given non-fried potato sources, i.e. mashed potatoes or potato soup as opposed to say french fries or chips. Over the past week on days when I've had one or more servings of non-fried potatoes I've slept better to very well. 2. As it turns out pumpkin pie* helps with spiritual unrest. Okaaay it was probably actually the authentic prayers the night before expressing my frustration and the great conversation had over said pie, but hey the pie didn't hurt matters. ;) Thought these scientific/medical/psychological breakthroughs were worth sharing. * likely any type of pie, cake, or cheesecake will result in similar effects :)

I'm tired. Aside from physical exhaustion resulting from the fact that nights I wake up 4 or more times at unreasonable hours outnumber nights I sleep through by more than 10 to 1, I'm spiritually tired. I'm tired of being stretched and grown and going & going & going through the middle. There has to be something on the other side, right? There has to be an other side? Sometimes I feel like it's all going to be worth it and other times I feel like life is a neverending middle. And it's exhausting. The easy times and the moments of unadulterated joy seem much like the fully restful nights. Potatoes seem to be helping the sleeplessness. Not sure what to do about the rest.

A few weeks ago I went over to my friend Rachel's place to bring her food when she was sick. I stopped by the Ralph's by her place and discovered something delightful: vitaminwater10. That's 10 calories per serving! It only comes in 4 flavors right now, but one of those is XXX which is my favorite non-retired VW flavor. (rest in peace VitalTea...) Since then I hadn't seen VW10 in any other stores. But when I checked Target this week not only did I find this: I also found these! Two new flavors! Sorry I'm a spaz and just now realized that I photographed the ingredients side of tranquilo rather than the amusing story. D'oh! Oh well. I enjoyed both flavors, though tranquilo could have lived with a stronger flavor overall. I think I'll still stick with XXX10 most of the time, but I'm sure I will pick these up every now & again. In other photo news, the cherry blossoms at Lake Balboa are sort of blooming! Here are a couple of my favorite shots ...

The arrival of 2009 meant something far more lovely than just a new year, it meant a year with a May Day on a weekend!!! I am already planning festivities in my head and will be sending out an evite as soon as is reasonable! I don't think I can accurately describe how much I enjoy this holiday or how much I am looking forward to its celebration. My dream is to make this the biggest & best May Day celebration in the history of Azina--not tough I assure you as this will be the first time I host a May Day party, but exciting nonetheless! If you are in the area or are compelled to travel for the holiday, please do join me--May 1st, my apartment. :)

I watched Notting Hill for the first time last night in quite awhile. I had forgotten how much I love that movie. It's cute and it's quirky and it's what I want for my life. No matter how complicated and confusing things seem to be, in the end they work out. I want a man who realizes I'm worth racing through the streets of London for. And I want to stand in front of him and tell him that all I'm asking is for him to love me. And of course I want the violin playing goat. ;) I'm the last person who thinks life can/should be like a chick flick. But maybe it can be closer to that simple than we often allow it to be. Right? I hope so.

Happy Pi Day! Today is a day when you can appreciate nerdiness because it means you have a good excuse to eat pie! Not that you need one of course. And in my opinion nerdiness is appreciable everyday. :) Otherwise I might have to cry that I have Pi memorized to the 25th decimal...

I'm a music junkie. I love discovering new tunes, new bands, new covers. My tastes are highly diverse and highly picky though not snobbish or "refined." I just know what I like and skip over what I don't. A band/song/genre that I dislike will grate on me more than nails on a blackboard. I have about a dozen music blogs I check from time to time. I don't really tend to read them much, just go there for the mp3 samples and form my own opinions. Tonight I discovered a song that I totally dig so I thought, why not share some of my favorite music of late? Maria Taylor - Cartoons and Forever Plans the aforementioned song and the source of this post's title Depeche Mode - Wrong new song Anberlin - Feel Good Drag originally off of Never Take Friendship Personal, rerecorded for Surrender and getting a lot of play on KROQ Greg Laswell - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun great cover Flo Rida - Right Round I know, I know. It's fun driving music, though. Don't jud...